Kailashana2
Jul 10, 2011

corvus delicti

the crow fills the air with dark-winged presence
a black iron fence stands guard
doors and windows open,
life passes through.
we are strangers here
with moments of glory
on battlefields of hope
who can speak of victory
and the injury of loss?
but if the sun rises
turns leaves to gold
on a mid-summer's day,
all there is
will take a bow
and the stage will be lit
from the inside out.

.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Thanks CC, of course, I had to put my own spin on it... ;-)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Ohio, USA

Favorite Poets: Bokonon: “Let your life be the poem you write”.

More from this author

Comments

S

I ain't gonna analyse this, just give kudos and read it a few more times.............stan

Janice Pearce

I loved this one! I didn't care for the very last line, so maybe I do not understand the poem. Great job, thanks for posting

Barbara Writes

as usual a great poem. i agree with Janice i don't quiet get the last line either.

Roscoe Lane

I think i got this one, but will hold my tongue and come back. Enough to say at the moment, it's another great poem. Love Roscoe

CCfire

CCfire

13 years 9 months ago

My thought is only this, if you are going to call it Crow then perhaps it doesn't need 'crow' in the first line as we would reference a metaphor back to the title?

Leonard

Anna - I agree with Yenti and CC, since the title is "crow", it would be better if the first line is without the word "crow". A suggestion would be:

A dark winged presence -

Otherwise I like the way the poem flows - beginning with darkness and ending with light. Optimism perhaps?

Leonard

Anna - I agree with Yenti and CC, since the title is "crow", it would be better if the first line is without the word "crow". A suggestion would be:

A dark winged presence -

Otherwise I like the way the poem flows - beginning with darkness and ending with light. Optimism perhaps?

Leonard

Anna - I agree with Yenti and CC, since the title is "crow", it would be better if the first line is without the word "crow". A suggestion would be:

A dark winged presence -

Otherwise I like the way the poem flows - beginning with darkness and ending with light. Optimism perhaps?

K

(((((LEONARD))))!!!!

Good lord, kids, don't you ever read anyone's poetry? Where do you get your ideas as to rules, what should or shouldn't be in the first line? Every read Ted Hughes--there's 10 crow poems here.

http://www.thebeckoning.com/poetry/hughes/hughes.html Not that I ever read much poetry except for the Poetry course I took and the Prophet, before my cosmic consciousness experience... And then every style and form came through in a watershed of poetry and has been coming through ever since. All I had to do was go on line search crow and find these poems by Ted Hughes to prove my point.

There are no *rules* in poetry. It has to come from one's inner light....which, btw, is the key to my last line.

~A

K

Well I am also a Logical Virgo. What else could I call a poem about the harbinger of *change*?

And I didn't post Ted's poems to be similar or the same, only to prove my point, after the fact, after I had written it. It seems like most folks around here want rules to be followed. lol.

~A

CCfire

Seems I have repeated myself with no way of repairing it..so I might just hang around someone's roof and see what turns up :P How about the latin for Crow...Corvus? Corvidae being the family genus of them..if my old latin serves me correctly but don't quote me lol

Geezer

Geezer

13 years 9 months ago

to add, just praise for the poem. ~ Gee