49reasons
Jul 04, 2011

into the night

i
no words are suspended
between silence of night
and dawns morning light

ii
declarations of now
touched lips and life inhaled
into souls once breathless

iii
the color of night shimmers
in the afterglow of rightness
to form paths of intimacy
fused into skin as fingertips
ink their own course

.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: ~vignettes~

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Melbourne, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

More from this author

Comments

CCfire

CCfire

13 years 9 months ago

Hmm..that first stanza I think I'd make stronger by just saying "no words are suspended..." and cut out the 'no longer' It feels a more worthy statement there to lead into these vignettes. The second one is a little cliche? Wonder if there is some type of metaphor you can find for that one, I know you've been in a funk lately with writing so at least this is down. :)