rationalizing
reminiscences of her
needing pretty pictures
to revive my burnt out life
Armorall'd surfaces
seasoned, but shiney
glow-in- the-dark fantasies
oozing whispers of love
so necessary
so needful
woe be me, for real,
if the surfaces were to be glimpsed
in their natural rough and dull state
and the darkness was unmarred
by smokey spotlighted images
and the oozing was a raging flood of regret
and disillusionment
could I survive
with only those experiences to
prime my heart into beating one more time?
so I surround myself in
self-centered, self-serving
sentimental delusions of
idealized sensual memories
why not?
like warm blankets on a cold night
I need them to survive
.
.
Comments
awesome write brittle light
except 'to revive my bum life' - it spoilt it for me
- i think on reflection that is because bum has only one syllable - after 'rationalise', 'reminiscinces', 'pretty pictures', 'revive', 'bum life' to my feel needs more emphasis if you know what i mean - i hope you do...
perhaps - 'lousy', 'miserable', 'shoddy', 'accursed', - or even 'crappy' or 'cruddy'?
and maybe 'existence' instead of life?
i really enjoyed this
shame we can't bookmark anymore
love judy
xxxx
Hello Brittle,
I really like this a lot.
"vagabond" instead of "bum", perhaps?
The only line I don't like is "woe is me" - it's too old fashioned, and does not fit with the rest of the piece, although I cannot really see an alternative, at this point.
Also, I would replace "a warm blanket" with "warm blankets", since you are referring to many states, and not just one.
I have bookmarked this one: I'm a tired old fart who still uses Netscape, lol.
Wish I could nominate, though, heehee.
Respectfully, Jim
what is netscape jim?
enlighten a tired old fartess who is almost computer illiterate
love judy
xxxx
LOL
Netscape....Netscape Navigator, the original web browser, bought out, and subsequently mothballed, by AOL.
I like it, its solid, it's easy to use, and it's virtually malware-free, unlike Internet Explorer, which is so rife with security holes, viruses and malware add-on attacks that I wouldn't use it one someone ELSE'S computer!
Netscape is old, obsolete, not supported by anyone anymore, won't load most video sites at all...and is completely ignored as a back-door and browser route by almost every hacker in existence.
I love it, heehee.
Jim