brittle light
brittle light
Jun 10, 2011

A "Who-Done-It"

a semi-rude awakening
uncalled for

who opened the blinds
who let the sunshine in
where is my identity
it was right here last night
where did this one
come from
I hate new things

well, it seems I used to
now having second thoughts
I really do like it
this new sense suits me fine

"off with the old, on with the new"

who said that
was someone here
I thought was a dream

no, really, what happened
I am smiling before noon

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

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Comments

Nordic cloud

Oh what awakening Brittle light ..came to you and flooded your senses and in such a lovely way you described the happening; I like the sudden looks from in to out, and the confusion as to what reality you are in, a bit like grandmother's footsteps - suspense:-

"who said that
was someone here
I thought was a dream"...although maybe (was it a dream would be enough-less is more!)

LuvAnn of N.

Ink Artist

i like the short, stark lines, very succinct and impacting. it feels like the brevity of length also matches the short attention span of the narrator and i don't say that in a critical way. i felt the quick pace of thought and the suspension of identity. a very enjoyable read. :)

~lori