brittle light
brittle light
Jun 05, 2011

Sweet Talk

so I don't talk so pretty
so what
it ain't jive
ain't even vulgar
not where I come from
grade school words
two syllable stuff
some ruff tuff grammer
from the hip mostly
or off the top of my head
out my mouth it comes
don't like it?
tell me
I don't bite
even my back talk hardly stings
so I don't talk so pretty
so fucking what!
you know damn well what I mean

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

More from this author

Comments

Red Card

Hey. Did you mean "grammar" or "grammer"? Perhaps the incorrect spelling was intentional. Lol Otherwise, I'm not familiar with your style, so before I would criticize, I'd like to test the waters a little more. I mean, maybe it's a little list-like -- a line. by line. by line. by line kind of flow -- maybe some thoughts could cross over several lines to avoid a monotonous sound. Then again, like I said, I'm not familiar with your style, so for all I know, that kind of approach to the delivery could have been intentional. Either way, I like the poem. There's a lot of personality here, i.e. "it ain't even jive, ain't even vulgar" - I like the slang. You know how to work it. ;)

V

sweet talked my on this one. Cool, concise poem in my opinion.