Eduardo Cruz
Eduardo Cruz
May 27, 2011

Poster boy (Lao Tzu)

“Heaven and earth are like a set of bellows.
Although empty, they are endlessly productive.
The more you work them, the more they produce.
The mouth, on the other hand, becomes exhausted if you talk too much.
Better to keep your thoughts inside you.”
-Lao Tzu
---------------------------------------------------------------------

My mouth entombs me
or sets me free,
in an endless stream of words

Beautiful images in precise words
swirl around my head, when I speak
something else comes out instead

I must be a marvel of science
where the mouth and brain
work in separate universes

They say;
“What you think is not always what you say.”
then I am the poster boy

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Food for thought

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda

More from this author

Comments

Barbara Writes

It sounds really good to me because I can relate, especially this line;
" the mouth, on the other hand, becomes exhausted if you talk too much.
Better to keep your thoughts inside you.”

I have found this to be true for a few other reasons also. lol

K

Eddie, please put the Lao Tzu quote at the beginning of the poem.

My mouth is an endless stream
of words
Which entombs me or sets me free

(My mouth entombs me
and sets me free,
in an endless stream of words)
[more poetic and to the point']

Beautiful well thought-out ideas
Encompass my brain, but
When I speak something else is heard

(Beautiful images in precise words
swirl around my head, when I speak
something else comes out instead)
[something playful, entertaining is called for here,
maybe a reference to a parrot, etc.]

I must be a marvel of science
Where the mouth and brain
Work in separate universes

(Wow!)

They say;
“What you think is not always what you say.”
Then I am the poster boy

(Wowser!)

~Ac

Eduardo Cruz

My partner of the mind and universe, thank you!
It is better with your suggestions.

Eddie

Eduardo Cruz

It mostly happens with Jonette and I, try to say something that's in my head to share with her and she says I can't believe you just said that!.Like most men I say: "What did I say?" then she explains it to me and I say; "Baby, that not what I wanted to say, or Baby you misunderstood" So lately I think it best to keep my fuck'en mouth shut, everything seems to go along smoothly between me and her that way. hahaha!

Eddie

Eduardo Cruz

Please do get started, because just maybe it's not just me it's a man thing. When we try to express our feelingsabout something we tend to drift like a ship without a crew.
Is that true. I think I try to be a good loving and compassionet man, but there are times when I think I'm an idiot, because I do not understand what she wants. even though I ask her. I think that love can only be if you can understand the wants and needs of the person you love, it is not always perfect. If we pay attention to these things our love ones need out of the relationship, it makes it easyer to love them. maybe I'm wrong and I should just stay in the now (moment) and not think I can always help.

Eddie

Eduardo Cruz

This is a first, you did not find anything wrong in my grammar or spelling. I take it is a complement coming from you. I know the eagle eye you have. Hahaha!
thank you my friend.

Eddie

Eduardo Cruz

the stop or period is in the quation. So yes not a full stop for the thought.
it's about saying what you mean, it makes it easier on the one you love. this is not a generaliztion. it is the back and fouth in a relationship.

Thank you
Eddie

S

Could not relate to this at all as I Sever nay other than what I mean.....................Now let me sell you some prime real estate if you believe that lol. The only hitch to me was repeating words which is a bit awkward in a short poem. You could replace first words with speech perhaps................................stan

Eduardo Cruz

I hear you!
I have a few words I'm thinking as a replacement or not , we'll see
thanks

Eddie

brittle light

this is superb, right up my alley. The theme, and the way you framed it is smart and sharp , concise and transparent,
and makes a vibrant poem.

lou

lou

13 years 11 months ago

The poem flows well until the last stanza, the last doesn't fit smoothly,can't think of a Replacement. At the moment.

Lou

Eduardo Cruz

the last is not a stanza but rather a statement about me.
there are only three stanza here keeping with the Te Cheng.
So don't worry of a replacement buddy.

thanks you!
Eddie

lou

lou

13 years 11 months ago

ok i won't lol

lou