Implosion
mallet strikes
bone splitting blow
unseeing eyes
reflect
explosions
of pain
vision erupts
in starburst patterns
and shards
of splattered brain
this headache;
MIGRAINE!
May 18, 2011
Implosion (eddy styx)
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Yes! I do want the "raw truth". This is for the "Book of StyxII" I appreciate all helpful input. Thanks in advance! eddy styx is my male alter ego.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I hear you
Cat I have the same thing. An implosion of the brain when the headache beginds. I like Eddys capture of this image he gives me today.
How about unseething eyes
of splattered brains (maybe)
I don't know if I am on spot or not. I will come back let me know
Missed talking with you friend
Love Mona
Dear Mona,
I don't have them often, but when I do, they really lay me down low! Thanks for reading, dear Lady. Always a pleasure to have you on my page. I hope you are well.
always, eddy (& Cat)
Hi Cat
This is an amazingly vivid description of a migraine. I haven't had a migraine before, definatley wouldn't want one after reading your description.
Excellent work!
Love Mand xxxxxx
Dear Mand,
I despise them. They really wipe me out. A day with a migraine is a wasted one! I can't do anything but lay down in a dark room.and wish it to go away.
always, eddy (& Cat)
hi cat
I really like how you describe the migraine with your title and these lines
"mallet strikes
bone splitting blow"
and this "vision erupts
in starburst patterns
and shards
of splattered brain",,,,hope your not suffering them luv ,zigs
Dear Ziggy,
Thanks for telling me the part you liked, I always find that useful. I haven't had one for awhile, now and I'm so glad!
always, eddy (&Cat)
Hi Rosi,
Aren't they just the worst form of headache possible! I'm so sorry you too, know this pain.
always, eddy (&Cat)
Dearest Jayne,
A bad headache can keep us from functioning at all, besides the basic things, such as breathing. And even that sounds too loud, LOL!
always, eddy (& Cat)
Damn, Ms. Styx, you have
Damn, Ms. Styx, you have nailed migraine to the wall (which is where I wish it would stay!)
~A
Dear Anna,
Thanks for reading and responding.
always, eddy (& Cat)