scribbler
May 13, 2011

THE CARELESS BIRD

A mocking bird just flying by
no intent on doing harm
but being a bit inattentive
landed on a long dead branch
which promptly broke

Before the branch did more than crack
the bird flew off not looking back
leaving the dead branch to fall
but that's not all

The branch was on a mountain top
and fell and hit a little rock
which was holding back a boulder
now unfettered
now rolling
now flying
over a short cliff
high up on the mountain

Then landing on unstable scree
loosened now by the impact
high up on the mountain
above a peaceful village

land slide

hurtling down
gathering momentum
trees and debris
outcome now certain

destruction
heaped upon the village
by seeming random actions
but not really random
all traceable
to one careless bird

be not a careless bird

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Eduardo Cruz

Great message, and yet funny in it's presentation.
This is freeform prose you genius!
Good for you. I love reading when you write this way.

Fast Eddie

S

Stan's so stupid he never knows
if it's free verse or if it's prose lol.

thanks for visiting...........stan

S

I seem to fall into different form by accident sometimes. Wrote a poem on old site . For fun I restricted it to 2 words per line. Saw result was too "vertical" looking ,so I arranged it into a gentle curve to resemble the curve of a tornado (poem was about a storm). Next thing I know I'm being informed I did a good job writing a "concrete" or "form" poem. I thought this poem a simple free verse lol. ( maybe I should let people go on thinking I do these things on purpose) rotflmao............stan

S

Had it been Me it Would have been a turkey lol.....................stan

K

Scribe, I think you have a new *calling*.

Enjoyed your poem and its message immensely.

Atlas

a rock hath no weight of its own
except when carried on the back
of one's denial,
then of course, even Atlas
shrugged
and peacock feathers molt
(and fall)

Thanks for the extemporaneous flight of fancy.

~A

M

Stan. I like this message in your write, Very clever of you and very understandable.

Mona
xoxo

S

Hesitated posting as some might accuse me of directing it at specific people. Thanks for dropping by.........stan

S

Boy oh boy did you miss the intended point lol. The point is to take a little care in what one does. The mocking bird did not err in lighting on a limb. It erred in not taking care to NOT light on a rotten limb. It had no intent to do harm, but lack of care in one simple thing leads to a minor thing (fragile limb breaking) which set in motion a series of things which snow balled into a catastrophe. In our day to day lives, there is no telling how fragile a person or situation may be. What is an innocuous action taken at the wrong time can lead to unintended consequences. The villagers didn't care or know that the bird had no intent to cause harm, but they still had to suffer consequences. On almost all days, for example, it is almost impossible to anger me. But pick the Wrong day and i become "the incredible Bulk" lol. When dealing with people on the internet we can't see the usual signals that people put out that tell us to tread lightly this day. Therefore the wise man who seeks to avoid trouble go the extra mile to not offend people. There is no telling their state of mind on a given day. Damn! my comment is longer than the poem . Not a good sign of having gotten point across, I think..................stan

K

On a familiar *note* so to sing, It would be good if both of you (Stan & Kal) read "Conference of the Birds" by Farid al-Din Attar Heck I recommend it for everyone.ccc

If you did I know you would be on the same page.

~A

S

I damn sure didn't want to write yet another blog. I didn't want to be seen as preaching. I also didn't want to appear to be picking on anybody. So this resulted as a means to send a message of restraint. Time will tell if I did ant good.................stan

Pamela A. Lamppa

Such and amazing domino effect in verse. I wasn't certain about the flow here and felt a few too many stops as starts in the rhythm, but none-the-less, a lovely story with beautiful imagery to help it on its way.
I enjoyed this very much. ~Pamela

mand

mand

13 years 11 months ago

Glad I found this one. The consequences of one small action/word/mistake can have disastrous results. This poem vividly hits the point home - the last sentence sums it all up nicely. It has a "brier rabbit" feel about it - a story told in each generation because of it's message.

Great read, I love it and can imagine it being read over and over again.

Love Mand xxxxx

Nordic cloud

I saw this as a film in slow motion making its point. In Norway there are screes, probably in USA too, that have 'stones' boulders as big as houses, the chaos of a fallen mountain is awesome showing 'nature's' powers with freak happenings. We were always told not to throw stones on mountians; was it a modern playwrite who wrote a play on this theme, where the dislodged stone fell and killed the partner who was coming up below.

Love Ann.