judyanne
judyanne
May 08, 2011

The Red Gum

In the heady, bloody diffusion
of iridescent, sinking afternoon sun,
the solid, thick chest of the red gum,
with its multitude of long gnarled arms
stretched in an arthritic attempt to touch eternity,
ever so slowly turns various shades
of convivial rosy-brown,

until,
catching the final rays of Sol's dying white,
they strike a splash of caramel-golden light,
to paint the worn, tired, pale canvas behind,
its colour used up in the day's heat of history creation,
hues of shining ochre,

reflecting an indeterminable luminescence,
as amber with the light of spirit
extols her house's portrait,

before
the one-thing-after-another-time brings
deep azures and gentle violets,
comforting night,
to slowly dim the glowing gold
into muted greys,
calming into
sleepy ebony black.

It stirs an ineffable emotion
of peace, love, beauty
and thankfulness,

and I sense that all is as should be
in the time where it occurred as one
and is happening over again,
and again....

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many

More from this author

Comments

R

raj

13 years 11 months ago

welcome back...you were missed...hope all is well ..as always good to read your write which is also a learning experience for amateurs like me...

much love..be well...

Psyve

Psyve

13 years 11 months ago

Quite a vivid description you have created of the riot of colors and how they change as the sun sets in the backdrop of the old gum tree.

I like the way one finally sees only a black silhouette of the tree... bereft of color against the late evening sky.

Nicely done.

Very nicely done.

Psyve.

P.S. For some reason, the words "Gum Tree" in your poem reminded me of a "round" we learned to sing as children:

Kukuburrah sits on the old gum tre-ee
Merry, merry king of the bush is he-ee
Laugh, Kukuburrah laugh,
Kukuburrah, gay your life must be (..2...3...4...)

judyanne

lol - i learnt that song at school too
you made me smile with you (...2...3...4...) - took me all the way back to my desk in grade 1 :)
love judy

Bonitaj

This is a splendid reminder that our seasons are ever changing and a good depiction of an oncoming Autumn! Enjoyed it a lot!
Boni

S

What a wonderfully descriptive poem of how nature can effect mood and mood can effect how nature is interpreted. I have a few alternatives you can consider if you want to :
L-5 change stretched to stretches to match turns in next line
I would move L-13 to beginning of S-3
I would also delete last 3 lines
I would also tell stan to kiss off lol.........................scribbler

judyanne

i will think about those suggestions...
but the 'hues of ochre' are what are painting the canvas, even though they reflect.... i still think the line belongs where it is....
and the branches of the gum are always stretched, while the colours are constantly changing....
why don't you like the last three lines? - they are supposedly the point of my write..... doesn't it work for you?

finally - i would never tell you to kiss off...i really appreciate knowing what has not worked for you :)
love judy

S

These are all alternatives for you to consider and I am never offended by any not being used. As to the last 3 lines(should it be THREE lines?lol) , I liked them .but it just seemed to me that the poem had reached its natural end before them. Just one beginners opinion..........stan

judyanne

hopefully someone else may give their opinion :)
thanks for the great review
love judy

mand

mand

13 years 11 months ago

I agree with Raj. Fabulous write.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

judyanne

thanks rosi
it's nice to be back and see you all
- especially you
i won't have much time for reviewing, but i'll visit as often as i can
xx
love judy

Eduardo Cruz

I love the way you used the kaleidoscope of colors. Which reflect the changing of everyday life,
just like life repeats itself.
Yes, it is how it should be.
A wonder of a write.

Eddie C.

Nordic cloud

"slowly turns various shades" ...perhaps logically 'turning'.

" of history creation," ...when the rest is clear I don't understand this.

" her house's portrait,".. a little clumsy.

I somersault upright and upside down in this last verse, I am slightly out of balance in understanding it.

I have already seen this one long ago haven't I judyanne?
So leave it like that, a ruddy(old sense) poem and thos gum trees are very decorative on their barks, and can truly be red can't they?

Love to you from annanya.