Supine, silent eyes jammed shut against
spew ridden daylight.
Disgorge and discharge, create a Technicolor yawn.
Sleep enshrouds weakened frame,
dull ache in the pit of stomach remains,
drowsiness a buttress.
Putrid nausea ebbs and flows
spasms of acrid pain,
wrap my brain in torment.
Imbibe Adam’s ale and consume the loathsome antidote
the process begins again,
spinning on the never ending wheel of anguish.
Comments
Rosina
Thank you, trust me to make the usual mistakes.
Love lou
Hallo Theo
Ditto lmao !!
Lou
Good one...
Lou. I know it will be really late, but hope that you can make it to the Darkside once in awhile. You have such a talent for it. Great write! ~ Gee
Gee
Thank you I'll try.
Love Lou
Dear Lou,
In my mind's eye I could see a chronic drunkard's reality and how his or her life unfolds. Tragic but an awesome write! You just keep on getting darker!
Imbibe Adam’s ale and consume the loathsome antidote,
The process begins again,
Spinning on the never ending wheel of anguish..
Love, it!
Cat
Cat
Thank you very much
Much love Lou
Shirl me girl
You are such a great support
Thank you
Love Lou
Lou,
I read this as a very graphic description of a chronic hangover... the morning after.
Nicely done.
Is Adam's ale a reference to cider ... perhaps a more generic reference to wine and alcohol? I like the allusion to Adam and the original sin i read into this choice of words, although I suspect your intent may have been different.
Psyve
Psyve
Thank you, Adam's ale is actually another word for water, and the antidote is medication, this is supposed to be a poem about the problems I am having with my parkinsons diseae medication,
Lou
Lou,
I'm sorry, I guess I just misread it completely.
Hope your problems are alleviated soon, though I know the battle with Parkinsons is a long difficult one.
P.
Psyve
Don't worry you are entitled to take from the poem what ever comes through to you,
I just wanted to express a little of how I feel, just because I often write about what I am experiencing or have experienced,
Thank. You
Lou
lou
lou,
I am guessing this is about your medical condition and its effects on your daily life and emotional stress.
Very detailed account and all I would suggest is to add the first stanza of your poem to the end...like this:
Imbibe Adam’s ale and consume the loathsome antidote,
The process begins again,
Spinning on the never ending wheel of anguish...
...putrid nausea ebbs and flows
spasms of acrid pain,
wrap my brain in torment.
Just to emphasise the never-ending torment.
I wonder if 'Potion' is strong enough given the content...maybe something more aggressive?...just a thought.
Good stuff,
HS
Dan
I think you are correct about the order of the stanzas, that is something I have been thinking about.
As for the title, I will give it some thought.
Thank you.
Lou