Your unique omelets
Fascinate me. Like your sex
Always exotic
Apr 23, 2011
Breakfast
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I know this is not a true haiku. Also go ahead and criticize the poem. I thought I would check “please use care” for once to see if anybody notices!
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
hello
I sometimes mark Japanese on a western classic for same reason lol. Not a haiku, but still a very descriptive Japanese. Maybe Senryu?..................scribbler
Thanks Scribbler
I agree that it should be called a Senryu.
hi Vexation
omelets and sex never would have thought. lol
nice piece
Thanks Barbara
I’m glad you liked this Senryu (others have told me that is what it is).
You could call it a Senryu as
You could call it a Senryu as it involves people :P I think it's interesting to do these a different way.
Oh yes,
I had heard of Senryu but never locked in on it as a variation of the haiku. Thanks much.
a nice expression..i guess
a nice expression..i guess the reference to omelets n sex is due to the sizzling effect of both...
Now I
want to add another verse including the word sizzling. Thanks for the comment
Vex
haiku" are usaully to compare nature and life's deeper meaning, but this is deep in sex and i lke it.
talk about improving on an omelet, Hahaha!
It's so interesting what you've done here.
Thanks Eddie
twas a good breakfast.
Hi Vex
I find myself (ahem) wondering which ingredients the omelet and the sex have in common.
heehee.
Good poem, and I don't care how it's labeled.!
Thanks Jim
Perhaps I need a second verse! Let me see, they can both sizzle, (got to think about it some more.)
Hello!
Omletes and sex... a wonderful suggestion! Would make for a lovely indulgent brunch!
always, Cat
Even better
when suggestions become reality. Thanks for dropping by, reading and commenting.