brittle light
brittle light
May 01, 2011

The Big Wait

.
I sit alone
a private pew, if you will
at my less than sanctified
kitchen table
a bottle of 80 proof
a glass
ash tray, cigarettes
and a pistol
another round
of solitaire
half hearted
half drunk
half assed any way you look at it
grumblin' at the radio
dj don't know
shit
just lost another game
shuffle and deal 'em out again
an entire evening without a win
kind'a integral to the theme I guess
a loser losing some more
'til all is lost
sounds about right
do I sense a sort'a weird offkey romanticism
to all this
kind'a like a film noir hero/ anti hero
hardboiled in grit
and cheap disappointment
gotta admit, I often do
a sideways glance at salvation
I suppose
which incidentally
keeps me in my private pew
at the kitchen table
a bottle, smokes
deck of cards
and a pistol

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

More from this author

Comments

Roscoe Lane

You could almost call this poem The Big Weight, I can picture the scene as i read. A deep dark heavy poem, but surely with a little humour. To keep losing when you feel at a loss and in need a way out, adds a little bit of ironic humour to your poem. And to argue with a dj who obviously can't hear, i have heard myself doing, and laughed. A poem i can't find to critisise, no i only have praise for this great peice of atmospheric poetry. Regards Roscoe...

brittle light

The Big Weight, hadn't thought of that! I sure do appreciate your thoughts on this piece. I think sometimes I'm too timid about going too dark, so I always insert a little sarcasm or slight bits of humor... adding a stylistic element that hopefully enhances a piece, I think....thanks for your time and compliments

sincerely

brittle light

thanks for reading and commenting....the gun thing, I don't know....unused, as of yet...probably never will be...more of a security blanket...or something for self image....time will tell!

thanks again

Geezer

comment all written out for you, but then I discovered that it was the beginning of a poem, so I had to start over! Suffice to say, that I found it interesting, and I too, thought that the gun might come into play. Nice work, ~ Gee

brittle light

thanks for your input. I will use your suggestions upon editing. They make sense. You are an astute reader, as well as a writer/poet

editing or rewriting seems almost like homework...I hated homework in my school days, and haven't outgrown the habit...so it may be awhile before I get to it (the edit )