Beyond the mansion
a gentle wind
across that rolling field
where no bird sings
no dog barks
only sighs
among the clean white markers
of gallant men
whispers
telling of lost dreams
.....lost potential
........lost love
...........lost..................
Last Few Words: My weakly free verse..........stan PS For those who don't know, Arlington is the former plantation of Confederate general Robert Lee. It is now a national military cemetery.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
This is powerfully sad and if
This is powerfully sad and if one has experienced it doubly so, I remember on seeing Ypres, where the rows of W Wars heroes are buried, it took ones throat in a strangle hold of emotion, even when there were none of those close to me there, the very atmosphere and memory of so much pain and stupid fighting was so strong as I stood there sensing their silent presence.
Your poem dissipating into a silence is good Stan, that's all there is to say! Sigh!
Love to you and to your feelings f there were those close to you involved.
Ann.
hello
this was inspired by another poet on site who said she had visited Arlington in the midst of spring and what had impressed her and her class which had gone with her was the near total silence during a time of year which should have been filled with birdsong. I expect all mass military grave yard elicit strong emotion. Thank you for coming by and reading my little free verse attempt................stan
Very powerful ...
Very powerful post, the environment only made stronger by the few words used.I found myself at the end after the word "lost" having one last word enter my mind, "waste".This automatically brought back memories of the last time I had visited Arlington.Great write Stan.
hello
I am pleased that my ending appears to be having desired effect. I am never sure how my free verse writing will go over as I am so unpracticed at it. Thanks for the read and kind comment.............stan
hi Lonnie
As a veteran ,we are all indebted to you. Always good to see you drop by............stan
Stan
This is a moving write of wasted life for a noble cause, "Freedom"
I went to Arlington as a child, but once I served for Uncle Sam I just could not go back a flood of memories and ugly flash backs destroyed the Noblity of it.
Bravo my friend
hi Eddie
I have never actually been to Arlington. But I have been to other military graveyards and based this write on those experiences and what I have seen of Arlington and its history on the boob tube. I am sorry if my scribble brought back bad memories to you...................stan
hello
I am glad you enjoyed it. Now a bit of history you may already know : During the War Between the States one of the 1st areas which was conquered by northern forces was the part of Virginia where southern general Robert E. Lee's plantation was located. He was also the overall commander of all Confederate forces of the South. In an act of petty vengeance it was decided during the war to turn his beloved Arlington into a military graveyard for northern troops so that Lee could never again return to his home. It eventually became a place of rest for all American troops killed in later conflicts. I guess this is a classic example of a deed based on bad intentions turning for the good over a period of time. End of lecture. There will be a test on this Monday, so be sure to come prepared lmao.............stan
Arlington...
Dear Stan,
I have never visited this solemn place of our countries history. But I have seen pictures of the austere row upon row of stark white markers.. A very strong and powerful write on the resting place of a nation of noble souls. Thanks for this.
always, Cat
hi Cat
I have been told the sense of sadness there is over powering. Thank you for visiting and such kind comment...............stan