Poem and Haiku by my grand child 11yrs old

By Isabelle Pacis 11yrs old

The State of Pain

Have you ever felt
The feeling of being scolded
As if you were a child
the pain, you used to get
When something tragic
Happens

That feeling you get
When you’re left out
Crying your eyes out
All alone and you can’t
Take the pain

You lose all hope
Of getting back
To your
Positive state of mind

The feeling you get
When bullied
The blood spewing out
Of your mouth
The stinging sensation
In your body created
By the physical state
Of pain

All of these
Are examples of pain
Unfortunately
People go through these
Everyday

The state of pain
Is not a happy feeling
Not even the evilest
Villain
Can take these pains

-------------------------------------------------

Haiku

Life is like nature
Turning like the four seasons
Working night and day

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Some here, have read a poem she wrote on the old site in 2009 when she was still 8yrs old she has come a long way, and I am so proud of her.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda

Comments

Wow

I am always stunned and amazed how much talent some children have, this is really good and I hope she doesn't give up writing. You would be justifiably proud of her skills and effort. I'd give it A+

Chez

Hello, this is Isabelle Pacis, Eddie's grandaughter. I wanted to thank you for your comment, I will try as hard as I can. And I promise I won't give up writing. You're awesome! :D

Hello Isabelle

It's very nice to meet you, and I wish I had been as serious with my writing at your age and as good. I certainly hope your grandpa will let us read more of you and we get to see you progress. And thank you for such a lovely compliment it made my Easter Saturday all the more enjoyable. :)

Isabelle

This is just wonderful. Blessings to this young new poet here. I am in tune as I go through the pain at this present time in my life. What an intellectual writer and then the nature Haiku..sigh..

Speechless....
Nice to meet you Isabelle

Have you ever heard of Rhema Marvanne. You must go and listen to her music. She is I believe 9 now and she sings like you write.. Truly a blessing of a little gal just like yourself

Keep on writing and your Grandfather is with you all the way I am sure of that..

Blessings
Mona Magics