Barbara Writes
Barbara Writes
Apr 17, 2011

“Peace Within”

“When my pain is bleak
And relief is fleeing
My thoughts become weak
With recklessness”

“Agony brings infamy
To my heart of pain
And the peace of Christ
Excels my thought of rashness”

“And meds for coping
Lessens my sadness
Lower my woes
Of high duress”

“And peace from within
Derived from up high
Quiet my thoughts
Of suicide”

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins

More from this author

Comments

Pamela A. Lamppa

I realize you are not actively editing, but you did ask for the raw truth so I will offer some suggestions and ask some questions.

Was wondering if "fleeing" should be "fleeting"?
Agony "brings" instead of "bring"?
Why is each stanza in quotation marks?

Perhaps this is a prayer, a wish for less pain and some relief. Pain can certainly become a living nightmare. Sometimes, we don't even realize how much pain we are in until there is relief.

I wish you relief dear poet. ~Pamela