.
I am a still life
...like a bowl of fruit
...or flowers in array
nothing unsettling
or startling
nothing to turn from
or linger upon
timeless
...of yesterday
...or a thousand yesterdays past
changes percieved
glance to glance
derive solely from
the commotion within yourself
I am still
I am fixed
quietly afloat in that which is eternal
Comments
dynamics
the contrast between a still life and life is effective but for some reason line 14 doesn't quite click. I think an adjective for motion may be needed but it could just be me .......scribbler
Hi, Stan
you are probably right. These kind of poems (metaphysical themes) are extremely hard to make clear
I'm always second guessing myself on how to approach them ( or even if I should). Most of these types have to be understood intuitivly, if understood at all...but I'll keep trying, simply because it is my turf (so to speak!).
I appreciate your no nonsense approach to critquing and your always useful comments.
anyway, glad to hear from you again and for the opportunity to read your poems. They are always a pleasure.
quietly afloat in that which is eternal
very beautiful write al
nothing at all to crit
love the title
love
judy
xxxx
I see you there floating in
I see you there floating in the eternal dust of this life, this universe, a speck and yet reading the poem you take on the dimensions of a greater part than that of a dust speck; and take our minds, and hands, to lead us to the quiet spot where there is this continuity of peaceful existence, despite all the commotion that takes place around us.
Just lovely, like the grey beautiful mist outside my window at the moment, shrouding all with the pencilled drawings of the trees only just visible close to, that wistful stillness and yet the slowly, slowly driving of the grey veil of the mist, going on forever, changing and becoming, becoming and not.
This array of words is indeed an arrangement of the most delicately lovely flowers, love to you from Ann of Norway.
hello Ann of Norway
I so much appreciate your thoughts and the way you deliver them...beautiful musical quality
sorry for the lateness of this reply....