Geezer
Geezer
Mar 28, 2011

Lady Macadam...

Streaks of fire fly through the night
Cool hands of wind run through my hair
I exalt in breathless flight
Man and motor growl through the air

Cold machine, with hot beating heart
You send a chill to my inside
I get a thrill each time we start
We need a twisted road to ride

Let's ride this road of pleasure
Fast, and faster still
Let's take each other's measure
Until we've had our fill

The stark white ribbon on her back
Ribs of guardposts, spots of color
Make a road I want to track
More than any other

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I changed the title to this poem because of the comments that H.S. made. He said poem sounded like the lyrics to a song, and I thought that it should have a better name.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

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More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

Cold machine, with hot beating heart
You send a chill to my inside
I get a thrill each time we start
We need a twisted road to ride

The stark white ribbon on it's back
Ribs of guardposts, spots of color
Make a road I want to track
More than any other

My favorite lines! (but I think guard posts are two words)

With your ending lines, it feels incomplete... like there should be another line.

Just a suggestion:

Until we've had our fill

(Or found the gate to hell)

love, Cat

Roscoe Lane

The image i get is the joker from batman, in a black car his manic face twisted against the wind. Terrific feeling of movement engines running, wheels turning madly on a dust road. Great poem all round. Regards Roscoe..

Geezer

it could be about a car, but it was about a motorcycle. But I'll leave the way it is, rather than take the image of the car away. I'm sure that many other people would like to ride too, and they don't ride motorcycles. Thanks for the read and the comment, ~ Gee

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

14 years 1 month ago

Gee,

I like the rhythm and flow of this. The last stanza doesn't quite finish it off, but you could make that a chorus should you try to turn it into a lyric.

You could swap stanza's three and four...as I don't think it needs another stanza, but stanza three feels more like an ending than stanza four.

Good imagery here too and I liked this stanza (chorus) best of all:

Let's ride this road of pleasure
Fast, and faster still
Let's take each other's measure
Until we've had our fill

I went on this drive with you...Exhilarating!

fast and furious!

I had no idea what a Macadam was...now I do.

HS

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 1 month ago

I mulled it over, looked at it closely, and I think you are right! I am going to change the stanzas around the way you have suggested. Glad you liked the ride! I can't wait to get my bike up and running again, so I can ride this year. Lady Macadam...That sounds like a song! I might take a stab at it. Thanks for the read and useful comments. ~ Gee

Hooded Stranger

Gee,

you are welcome to my suggestions and as you already know, if you need any help turning it into a lyric, you just need to ask.

I had wrongly assumed it was a car due to the:

Cool hands of wind run through my hair

but of course you guys don't have to wear a helmet in USA...so of course it is a motorbike...I still took that ride with you though.

Good title change too!

Kind regards,

Dan

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 1 month ago

or fortunately, depending on your stance, New York state does have a helmet law. If I want to ride sans helmet, I have to go to Conneticut [nearest state] where they repealed their helmet law, some years ago. That is where I learned to ride. I don't often ride without one, but if I go to Conneticut, or New Hampshire, [for the bike races at Laconia], it is nice to putt down the street at the beach where there is much to look at, and it is hot, without one. If I get on the highway, I always put mine on. Thanks for the offer to help with lyrics, and I may take you up on it. There have been other suggestions that I am looking at, and I am thinking about them too. Regards, ~ Gee

Nordic cloud

Oh lover of the motorbike,
your rhythm descries the scream of sounds
the heavy heated road beneath gives resistance
and you speed off into the winding roads
with a memorable reverberation.

I have written it before I think but iI asked some Danes
why they came to Norway on the bikes, their answer:
" Because Norway has so many wonderful bend in the roads."

Love to you Sir Gee from your queen Ann.

Geezer

There is nothing like a twisty road, to bring out the thrill of riding a motorbike. We have plenty of them here, in the Adirondack mountain region. I mostly like to ride alone, and early morning or late afternoon, when things are quiet, on those twisty roads. Just man and machine... Love to my queen Ann, ~ Gee

Geezer

scrutinizing your suggestions carefully. I am in the midst of a couple of other things right now, but I will revisit this poem with them in mind. Thanks for the read and comments. ~ Gee

S

born to be wiiiild. visions of easy rider.................stan

hobo

this makes me think of a fast motor cycle ride on a warm evening. I can almost feel the wind in my hair. nice write

Xavier Sleuth

The power of a good car.
Or a bike.
I felt the hum of the motor.
Great poem.

Geezer

mainly because of my bike needs too much work and I don't have the money to fix it or even do the things that I used to be able to work on, because of my COPD. Sometimes, it's hard just getting up and dressed let alone, working on the bike.
~ Geez.
.