Man’s insanity
Is his sanctity
In tune to living
Within
Deftly ensconced
By his own decisions
In a dellusional Reality
With sightless eyes
He sees the bloodstains
On hands that no longer feel
Yet ache for the softness of life
Still the voices bid him
Kill
Sleeplessness is the
Norm of his nights
When dreams come
They arrive in color
The deep garnet of blood
Forever imprinted
In his fevered mind
Comments
Dear Trio
if i read this write correctly..my perception is that it is about "revenge"... a trait or shall i say a state of mind when insanity dominates his instincts...making him/her restless until the objective (kill) is ahieved..please confirm if i read it correctly...if not i shall appreciate your elaboration...
Chrys, Cat and Eddy,
This is extremely powerful, brooding and inexorable. The kind of write that stays with me, and returns in odd moments of darkness of the soul, if you know what I mean.
Only one thing wrong, for me:
line 3
"In tuned to living"
should it be "in tune" or maybe "Tuned in", instead?
Love the imagery, and the sense of helplessness I get when reading. Extremely evocative, to me.
hello
I see a lot of Eddy in this one but still contains a bit of your style also . All in all a good collaboration............stan
Dear CB & Cat
Dear CB & Cat,
this one feels like an Eddy poem, which shows that CB can also get her head into the mind of Styx!!
CB - I have arranged immediate electro-shock treatment for you...will PM the directions and time and date of the torture...I mean therapy!
My immediate thought was Cat/Eddy wrote the first two stanza's and CB the last two...but now I see that two stanza's end with one word...so now I am not so sure. Here's my final guess:
CB wrote stanza's 1 & 3.
AS usual with Eddy poems, this is full of imagery and dark evilness...I agree with Raj that 'revenge' is the core of the poem, but with Eddy, you just never really know!
Fantastic co-write and I hope you both do more as it was a pleasure to read.
kind regards,
HS
CB
CB,
It wasn't that I thought you wrote 1 & 3, it was more that Cat doesn't usually have one word on her lines so it led me to believe it was you. That said, all stanza's work, one word endings or not.
Cat is very easy to work with, I know that also from experience...I await your next one.
kind regards,
HS
hi there all
great to see a dark co-write
my nom for fav stanza are
"With sightless eyes
He sees the bloodstains
On hands that no longer feel
Yet ache for the softness of life
Still the voices bid him
Kill" and I love the ending lines
fantastic ,,,,,"Sleeplessness is the
Norm of his nights
When dreams come
They arrive in color
The deep garnet of blood
Forever imprinted
In his fevered mind" chilling ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
ps hope I left no one out lol
hi again
hi yes you and cat work very well together I would love a
co-write with our queen of the dark cat some day , this
reads well ,,,,,,,,,,,good on ye ,,,,,zigs
Thank you everyone
and especially Chrys. It is always a pleasure to write with you as your words and ideas flow easily. I would have been here sooner but I had oral surgery done yesterday and was pretty much out of it the rest of the day. Thanks for believing in me/us.
love, eddy (and cat)
great job ladies.
great job ladies.
if you dream in color, it was said that you were mad.
my stanza;
'Sleeplessness is the
Norm of his nights
When dreams come
They arrive in color
The deep garnet of blood
Forever imprinted
In his fevered mind'
does it mean I'm mad or creative, Hahaha!
great callaboration!!
Eddie
CHRYS
There's a club?
Hahahaha!!
Eddie