besser blocks (with video)

*cunt* always offends my sensitivities. sometimes that's a good thing.

however, in this case it is so incongruous in/to the context of concrete and the skin you love to touch, that *cunt* is worse than any harm a besser block can do or be, it that was your intention it worked for me, as you can see.

I probably would use *warm welcoming holy ground*.... to tie in the besser blocks to the beauty.

~A

I'm reminded of a Rilke poem......."Dear Darkening Ground"

perhaps using that one line would be *enough*. and if you wanted to you could attribute that one line to Rilke as Rilke's poem begins with:

"dear darkening ground,
you've endured so patiently the walls we've built,
perhaps you'll give the cities one more hour

and grant the churches and cloisters two,
and those that labor--maybe you'll let their work
grip them another five horus, or seven

before you become forest again, and
widening wilderness
in that hour of inconceivable terror
when you take back your name
from all things.

Just give me a little more time!
I want to love the things
as no one has thought to love them,
until they're real and ripe and worthy of you.

I want only seven days, seven
on which no one has ever written himself--
seven pages of solitude.

There will be a book that includes these pages,
and she who takes it in her hands
will sit staring at it a long time,
until she feels that she is being held
and you are writing."

I love your creative genius, when you get going Jess. Who would have used *besser blocks* in a love poem but you?

~A

p.s. There's a long story, a *herstory* in that poem for me.

I think this is basically a love poem about a guy who has better things to think of than blocks. In that context I agree with anna...............pause for gasp of astonishment..........lol, in that a softer word than cunt is called for. Also if it were me the poem would have ended with a line about the girl and thus shown that protagonist had finally gotten his priorities straight................just a few thought........................scribblerPS could use "self" instead of cunt ?

May i suggest cingulum. Tho i much prefer the original, it halts the reader, and starts them thinking of what it has to do with beeser blocks. Regards Roscoe...

"Your welcoming wet"?
"You warmth of wetness"?
"Your eager wetness?"
Not that I don't like the word cunt in this context, I think it works fine. imo the brute-force crudity of it fits well with the bessers and the author's hatred and fear of them. To me its use also implies that the auther is already beginning to become what he despises, too.
I don't like the word "pert". "Cunt" shocks, but is in context; "pert" throws me off, it's not a word I would hear from a laborer or bricklayer, describing his woman.
But yes, it's STILL a god-damned love poem! LOL you cannot escape it!
Just kidding.
Excellent poem. When you get there, you don't just fly, you soar.

perhaps....*pert* and *cunt* are meant to cancel each other out. lol.

they're equally obtrusive.

~A

but it did the job. Made me think of someone who wanted to take the day off from [laying blocks] to lay his love. LOL. I agree about the word, [pert] not something I would expect to hear from a laborer. Nice work, ~ Gee

Rereading this poem this morning, I felt like a ton of besser blocks had fallen on me when I got to the word *cunt*.

I know that was your intention.

;-)

~A

Maybe you could say *freckled cunt* instead.

;-)

~A

took me a few reads to like, to "get?"
the besser blocks repetition in this

i love this write

i love how, with each growing thought of her,
his need to express his 'hate' for besser blocks,
diminishes

she, and in turn, the way he feels, becomes the focus

'cunt' took me a few reads as well, to warm to ~
on its own, a harsh sounding word ...
but in the context of what he feels here, i don't
find it harsh at all

in fact, i find it rather erotic, and it's a word i don't
really like!

go figure

again, i love this write ...i find it quite layered
cheers
p

I always like what you poem. You have always poem well. And this one is no different. I am glad to see you back on the seen. I am there every now and then. Read you later my friend....

Pixee

I like what you've done with the "I hate" line, it re-enforces the feelings for your woman, and moves away from your hatred of the blocks.

I greatly enjoyed the whole construct of this poem of yours
maybe because I worked the block gangs for years
baking in the sun and freezing in the winter
mortar and mud mixer and dust
the caravan of trucks
and then all of us stopping by to slip fivers
in the thongs of strippers in the clubs
after work

I found this to be a marvelous poem

Thank You Weirdelf

the repetition of besser block kinda throw me back with the first read.
but after reading a second and third time i got the meaning.
the fourth read was even better
this is a beautiful poem. I like how you made it flow from beginning to end with a marvelous
comparison between hate of besser blocks and secret love. it is riveting.
I especially like how you summed it up in the ending verses.

"If I fail to love you
truly madly deeply,
self-consciously

Then when I die,
I might as well come back
as a besser block."

Which is my favorite.
This is your best work yet that i have read.