Politicide
Composition by design
the compost heap
of Charon's Keep
heaping guano on the stack.
A marriage joined,
by fecal matter.
Entwined decrepitude
of nature's refuse.
Composites...
combines
Praetorian wing
with
echelon fine...
ever sinking
in the stinking
black hole.
Gaping
open mouth
belching
verbiage spewing...
oh the flowing out
of each and every
bureaucrat (Divine!)
(*Politicide is a combining of the words political and suicide)
Last Few Words: another poem from the "Book of Styx II" Still editing the body of work before submitting for publication. I appreciate all the help I can get. Thank you in advance.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Sounds like...
Eddy has been listening to those politicians spout off about how they will change things, and then just wind up going along with the crowd. I love the language, it sounds almost Roman or Greek and reminds me of the oratories they had. The pace was definately in keeping with the patter that one might expect of a snake-oil seller,[which I feel most politicians are]. I liked the theme, as you might guess, and thought the whole thing flowed well. ~ Love ya, ~ Gee
Dear Sir Gee,
Yup! The politicians are starting to make noise again, but not as much of a racket as the will in the coming year. I dread the results of the coming election even more.I'm afraid it is going to get to be a whole lot worse before it gets better. Thanks for reading!
love eddy, (& Cat)
Thanks, Bee!
I needed that!
always, eddy (& cat)
Cat
An interesting combination of words, I like the way the words have been woven together, but I wondered, whether it would be better if on line 4 you said ' heaping mulch on the stack' ? That would mean that you could avoid repeating compost.
Even without that minor tweak, I love it.
Lou
Dear Lou,
Thanks for bringing that blip to my attention! I fixed the repeat, but used "guano" as it had the same syllables as compost. I hope you like the change.
love, eddy (& cat)
Cat
Guano, is a perfect replacement word, for compost.
love lou
CAT!
I love it when you get mean!!! I think these descriptions could be levied at so many individuals - not merely politicians - although they are a rather heinous bunch!
Well done!
Boni
Dear Boni,
It is so very good to see you again! When did you get here? I suppose you have been keeping very busy this winter. Thanks for reading and for the comment and observations.
always, Cat
Dear Rosi,
Thanks, yeah there is no shortage of gas in the air with those windbags out and about.
love, Cat
Dear Cat, this is a very
Dear Cat, this is a very modern write to me, though some words said very little that I had to fight with them...LOL.
Regards
Ayaz
Hello Ayaz,
It's nice to meet you! Sorry about the hard to read words, but I guess that goes along with politicians, too! Thanks for reading.
always, Cat
Dear Shirl,
Yes, eddy has a strong view on politics and politicians! Thanks for your continued support of him.
Love, cat (&eddy)
Cat
I love this.
Have you, um, given a thought to introducing Eddy to, like, um, you know, the Governor of Wisconsin?
Just an idyl (idyllic) thought.
Let me know if you do; I'll bring my camcorder, we can get the whole thing on video!
heehee
Good Stuff.
Dear Jim,
LOL! Maybe I'll just send him an autographed copy of "the Book of Styx II" when it comes out. If I sent him the original "Book of Styx" it would probably creep him out too much to read my second book. Thanks for the offer of getting it on video :)
always, eddy (& cat)