Hon
Hon
Jul 02, 2024
This poem is part of the challenge:

07/24 Mistress in the Closet

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Mistress in the closet

A teaser she is
moves her luscious lips
softly as she speaks in
a seductive tongue
a gentle tender touch
running down to the skin
sending a lust of desire
from a flame of passion ignite
by the alluring gaze
with a murmuring sigh
from her captivating words
leading with an
emotional embrace
As she brings in the spell
under the mimic portray
with arose move display
In her beauty showcase
enchanting a mind with a fantasy
of a vivid image at sight
with speechless intrigued
in enthralling engaged

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

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Region, Country: USA , USA

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neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Mistress in the Closet" demonstrates a strong use of sensory language and imagery, which effectively paints a vivid picture of the subject and the emotions involved. The use of words like "luscious", "seductive", "alluring", and "enchanting" certainly add to the sensual atmosphere of the piece.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent punctuation. Currently, the lack of punctuation might make it difficult for readers to follow the intended rhythm and pauses. Adding punctuation could enhance the flow and make the poem more accessible.

The poem also leans heavily on adjectives and adverbs. While these words can add detail and depth, they can also make the poem feel less concrete and more abstract. Consider replacing some of these with more concrete nouns or verbs to give the poem more substance and grounding.

The structure of the poem, with each line indented more than the last, is an interesting choice. If this is intended to create a specific visual effect or mirror the content of the poem in some way, it could be helpful to make this connection more explicit.

Lastly, the phrase "mimic portray" is a bit unclear. If it's intended to suggest the subject is pretending or putting on a show, perhaps a more straightforward phrase could be used to convey this.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

RoseBlack

Enticing and steamy...good use of descriptive language which produces visuals. Well done