The First Poem of my First Book: Brushstrokes

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The First Poem of my First Book: Brushstrokes" effectively employs the metaphor of painting to express the process of writing poetry. The comparison between an artist's brushstroke and a poet's words is a compelling one, and it's used consistently throughout the poem, which strengthens the overall theme.

However, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. While the metaphor of painting is clear, the reader might struggle to visualize the emotions or scenes the poet is trying to convey. For example, the lines "Long and smooth, An exhale / Short and fierce, A shout" are abstract and could be more powerful with concrete imagery.

The instruction to the reader in the final stanza, "So, take a breath at every stanza / Exhale every punctuation / And keep your mind wide open" could be reworked to show rather than tell. Instead of instructing the reader to keep their mind open, the poet could use imagery and language that naturally encourages the reader to engage and interpret the poem in their own way.

The line "These are the brushstrokes of my mind" is a strong ending, as it ties back to the title and the central metaphor of the poem. However, it could be made even more impactful by adding a bit more detail or specificity about what these 'brushstrokes' reveal or express about the poet's mind.

Overall, the poem has a clear and compelling central metaphor, but could be improved with more specific imagery and less direct instruction to the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

a technique used in painting, where paint is laid on an area of the surface thickly,
usually thick enough that the brush or painting-knife strokes are visible.
Paint can also be mixed right on the canvas.
When dry, impasto provides texture; the paint appears to be coming out of the canvas.

I had to go look up the meaning of impasto.
I am glad that I did, and it made the image that you are projecting very clear.
I don't think that I could have come up with a better term for describing the thought.
Very nicely done! I look forward to your book. ~ Geez.
.

I love how you intertwined artistry and poetry. I also love how you refer to your poems as the brush strokes of your mind. Very clever, well written. I wish you all the success with your first book.

Hello, Kristen,
This is beautiful. So much to love about it, but mostly the shared feelings of poetry and art, in general. Best regards with your book! Such a wonderful title!
Thank you,
L