Have faith and believe!

Where do you go
and what do you do.
When you've lost
the desire to have faith?
When you feel
that your suffering
has taken you past
God's power
to succor and save.
When the friend you once knew,
stands with open arms
and you just want
to walk away.
Do you myopically assume
that your way is right.
Digging your grave
in the middle of the night.
Is heaven too much
of a leap to make
in your present disorderly state
or is it anger
that's holding you down!
Then lying alone
in a hospital room
randomly you hear
a familiar tune
"Don't stop believing"

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I totally get the idea that suffering brings strength, but sometimes I'm just not up for it. Nonetheless I venture into the future with a continual stroke of beatific fortune. You can scream, you can cry, but ultimately you know that you still have operative faith. I really don't want to stop. There is to much at stake!

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson

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Comments

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Have faith and believe!" explores a profound theme of faith, doubt, and personal struggle. The use of rhetorical questions throughout the poem effectively engages the reader and encourages introspection. However, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery to evoke stronger emotional responses.

The transition from the speaker's internal conflict to the hospital scene is abrupt. To improve the flow, consider providing more context or a smoother transition. This could be achieved through the use of additional stanzas or lines that bridge the gap between these two scenarios.

The ending of the poem introduces a song lyric, which can be a powerful tool to evoke emotions and memories. However, it's important to ensure that the reference is clear and accessible to a wide range of readers. If the song is not widely known, the impact could be lost.

The poem could also benefit from a more consistent rhythm or meter to enhance its musicality and readability. This could be achieved by paying attention to the syllable count and stress patterns in each line.

Finally, the poem could delve deeper into the speaker's emotional journey. While the struggle and doubt are clear, the resolution or transformation is less so. Providing more insight into how the speaker's feelings or perspectives change could add depth to the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Pronouns

Please overlook the gross overuse of pronouns. I couldn't think of a better way to convey this message.