Hold your fire!

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Hold your fire!" demonstrates a strong understanding of narrative and emotional progression. The imagery used, particularly the metaphor of a spark turning into a raging fire, effectively conveys the escalation of emotions. However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and meter to enhance its musicality.

The line "your mind is set on something/that you really can't describe" could be reworked for clarity. As it stands, it's somewhat vague and doesn't contribute much to the overall narrative or emotional arc of the poem.

The phrase "the windows of your mind/were wild and opened wide" is a strong example of vivid, evocative imagery. However, the transition from this line to the next ("you pressed her for an answer/and saw it in her eyes") is a bit abrupt. Consider revising these lines to create a smoother transition and maintain the flow of the narrative.

The ending lines provide a satisfying resolution to the emotional journey of the poem. However, the line "giving you the option/to simply hold your fire!" could be rephrased to more effectively communicate the idea of choice and restraint. As it stands, the phrase "simply hold your fire" feels a bit casual in comparison to the rest of the poem.

Overall, this poem demonstrates a strong understanding of narrative and emotional progression, but could benefit from revisions to improve clarity, consistency, and flow.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I like it very much. It reads like its written in couplets, basically, every two lines is complete though.
I also think you showed great poetic skill to present this scene in such an original, and griping way.

Tyro