Workshops
By Workshops, 6 April, 2024
Participants
scribbler
Geezer
Jokerface82
tyro
Rula
Skill level
Splash Pool
Date
-
Short description
How to gain readerss by use of imagery.
Candlewitch

Please Add me to the list, too!

thanks, Cat

S

I will be pleased to put you on the list. I hope the stuff going on in Gaza is not affecting you and yours

Rula

Rula

12 months ago

I really appreciate it.
The conflicts, been in Palestine, are a bit away from where we are in Jordan. However, emotionally everyone is affected. We can't stop thinking about everything going there.

S

I'll start out by saying due to an injury Lavender has had to drop out. It is a non life threatening injury so we can all wish her a quick recovery.
So. imagery. Have you ever read a poem and felt you were within the poem? Usually the reason for this is the poet's use of imagery.Now there are numerous types of imagery. There is visual, tactile, auditory, taste.I expect the one used the most is visual. This one is where a poet describes what he/she sees around them (either in the present or the past. )And then describes this in detail.An example: "As I pass through autumn woods of multicolored leaves."This sets the stage by using autumn to pass along all things related to autumn, cool air(tactile)and visual (leaves not yet fallen but of different colors).Now let's discuss how and what these simple words impart the sense of being there. Post your ideas here along with any questions. I'll check back in in a bit.

Mark

Most can relate to the Autumn and multicolored leaves. A noun and an adjective. It puts me in many places that I had been in, and brings images from my memory. Gives me many more nouns and adjectives and more from those words to write about and it all spawns other creative ideas regarding writing a poem.

Autumn had arrived with it's multicolored leaves.
Cooler days of brilliant hues,red, green and
some foliage already turning brown, dry.
She was here, my favorite season.

Blonde, the yellows I could partly see (I go on to focus on the underlying her in the autumn keeping up front nouns and adjectives)

That is my take on this exercise.

Mark

Rula

Rula

11 months 4 weeks ago

Thank you for this interesting introduction.
I think we oft use descriptive words unconsciously.(at least I). I realize that I need to give more attention to the tactile, taste and auditory ones.
Is there any lists to be found for such words, (I mean like the one for the 100 most beautiful words English?)

Mark

Ajective and noun, this workshop is at least post secondary, so I believe if one does not know those two words they probbably shold not be here (or they are ska-rewwwwd). I do believe (or at least in trouble).
Truly,
Mark

S

I have a grandson in elementary school and they are already discussing nouns and adjectives. Of course that is here in the south lol

Mark

LMAO
well there are the extremes. I got straight Ds in high school English 4 years in a row. Makes ya wonder what in the hell am I doing here. The only reason I didn't flunk out was I loved reading Poe in class.

S

I had only one semester of poetry in HS. But I must have done well because my nick name quickly became Edgar lol

T

tyro

11 months 4 weeks ago

They jog my visual memory of such woods in Autumn, but because I now live in the Nederlands, a very wet climate, I see dampness as well. And because I grew up in New Orleans I also experienced a warm, dry crispness.

I don't think I would have this same problem in a full poem, because the context would make it clear, as to how I see Autumn

Mark

Mark

11 months 4 weeks ago

My Hours
I had for my walk
no one at all,
but I had the cottages
in snow.

Makes me think that the imagery was added, yet masterfully.

Good Hours:
I had for my winter evening walk (Added an additional noun and adjective)
no one at all with whom to talk, (seems he worked from a verb (talk) with this line.
but I had the cottages in a row (repeats the noun/adjective) I.. had/Cottages.. in a row
up to their shining eyes in snow (here he seems to get away frrom the noun/adjective and uses metaphor - shining eyes (I'm thinking and seeing windows with candles) Followed with a noun - snow.I
It is clear what is happening and when stripped down further to bare bones that make snse (or are logical) I can use it as a template for my own poem.

I had my walk
no one
but cottages
snowed in.
.
.
Mark

S

Seems most here are tongue tied so we'll go on to an exercise. Sometimes it is easier to show what something isn't instead of what it is. So put on your thinking caps a write a poem Without imagery. When done post it on stream but be sure to hit the workshop tab when posting it.PS try to keep it under 20 lines

Mark

Mark

11 months 3 weeks ago

The more imagery removed then the more oportunity for something different and maybe more exciting when imagery is added. Anyone else thinking that?

Rula

Rula

11 months 3 weeks ago

I am afraid I have to disagree with you here. I don't thinkless imagery will do any poem any better, on the contrary, the more images the more you show and the less you need to tell.

Mark

What I was trying to convey, although I guess not as acurate as I desired, was when you remove the imagery from an existing poem (this exercise) I noticed that it leaves a sort of template where you can add different imagery and create a different poem than the original. Perhaps even better. Hope that was more clear. Appologies for the confusion.
Truly,

Rula

Rula

11 months 3 weeks ago

That makes a better sense.
Thank you for the clarification.

S

In my opinion there is such thing as too much imagery although it is rare. As an example go back to the poem by Frost which I posted above. And see if
I had for my clear cold winter evening walk
not a single soul with whom to talk
but I had the neat clean cottages in a row
up to their cheery eyes with pure whit snow...............do you think this is an improvement?

Often it is choosing the best word to impart imagery while keeping it simple which works best.

BTW we have lost another shop member due to health. .Let's hope Cat gets better soon

Geezer

Geezer

11 months 3 weeks ago

how about if you do my poem, because I am the next one after Scribbler? ~ Geez

Mark

Mark

11 months 3 weeks ago

He's out looking for 3 or 4 people who have not yet contributed.

S

I have contacted those who were AWOL. 1 is gone due to personal complications but other were gone due to not knowing how to get to the workshop. They have been told how to do this. Let's give then until midnight to get up to speed then we will begin with assignments. Reminds me how patient folks were with my lack of comp skills when I first came here

S

Rula , please rewrite my poemA NEW DAY. be sure to hit workshop tab and then to copy and paste your revision on stream and here on the shop page

Rula

Rula

11 months 2 weeks ago

Give me time.
This is never an easy job and I don't like to rush it.

S

please post your image poor poem now. Post one copy on stream and be sure ti hit imagery bitton. Also post it here in the workshop to make it easier to find

S

time for you to post your imagery poor poem. Post it both here and on stream after hitting the workshop tab.

S

please rewrite mark's imagery bare poem . post it on stream and be sure to hit the imagery shop button . Than copy and paste it here so we can all find it easily

Geezer

Geezer

11 months 2 weeks ago

Queen Tanka
Submitted by Mark on Sat, 2024-05-11 00:09
what a time it was
front door deliveries please
and then I saw you
firstly, a crown for a queen
lastly, our very own world

Rewrite

what was, is it time?
deliveries, front door please
I saw you then
a crown for a queen firstly
our very own world lastly

By submitting a Tanka, you have made this piece virtually unable to be used for this project.
The only way to add any descriptive words, would be to rewrite it as something other than a Tanka.
~ Geezer.
.

Rula

Rula

11 months 2 weeks ago

The original and the rewrite go over my head. I'm trying hard to figure out what's going on, but failed.
I think punctuation is badly needed for a clearer reading.
As a reader, I only read a piece a couple of times and if I don't figure what's it all about I lose any interest to read for a third time.
Sorry, guess it's only my problem.

S

Perhaps it is because it's a Tanks but I wonder why this was written for this shop

S

please post your imagery poor poem now. Post it on stream and be sure to hit the workshop button then post it here. Thanks

T

tyro

11 months 2 weeks ago

I posted it some time ago. If it is not good for this execise I can post another.

S

Mark presented us with a difficult poem . It's very form (A tanka) makes it almost impossible to add any syllables including imagery without ruining the form. So being the leader of this shop I'll take on the challenge so here's the Poem with wrecked form but additional imagery. I Do think the message is preserved though :
the form and see what I can do: Apology to gee
What a seemingly distant time it was
When only formal deliveries came to front doors
Then I beheld the beauty of you
A queen, it seemed, without her crown
who joined me in creating our own world.
original poem:
Queen Tanka
Submitted by Mark on Sat, 2024-05-11 00:09
what a time it was
front door deliveries please
and then I saw you
firstly, a crown for a queen
lastly, our very own world

S

Geeze. I would like you to do Tyro's poem so you can forget about Mark's challenge lol

S

There have been so many people drop out that I'm considering changing the last part of the shop. Instead of assigning a single poem to a specific member I am considering letting everybody rework all poems. This being a participant driven shop I would like to hear yawls thoughts on this........stan

Rula

Rula

11 months 1 week ago

Re working one and our own is pretty enough I believe.
I'm honest if I say that I have no idea what imagery I'd need to add to mine. Lol
What do you think boss?

S

I was intending to have each person rewrite one poem written by another then going back to their own poem and using what has been learned to rewrite their own poem. I'll await a few other opinions here then decide the next step.

Geezer

that we could do as you have suggested. It seems like an easy way to proceed. I think that the manner in which the adjectives describe internal imagery can be shown, as defined by words that evoke a sense of physical movement, such as: dizzying, crying, etc. ~ Geez.
.

~ Geez.
.

T

tyro

11 months 1 week ago

all the senses are open to imagery, sight, taste, feel, sound, maybe even smell. sight is quite easy but I little experience the others. I feel a lot of my poetry is internal, so what would be internal imagry, if it exist?

T

tyro

11 months 1 week ago

Since biologically, the eye use more energy than all the other senses combined, it must be sight.

Geezer

with sight, but what must it be like to be blind and have a poem read to you? I would hazard a guess, that the tactile senses
would be most prominent after sight. A poem with a lot of sight references, could be bewildering to someone who has never seen. How would you describe color to a sightless person? You would have to describe colors as maybe different being temperatures or in extreme cases, perhaps as textures, an interesting proposition. ~ Geez.
.

S

Sight is likely the most used but what about the sense of small. Say fresh baked bread and you can almost smell it or the scent of a spring forest. Perhaps sight is used more because it is an easier thing to transfer from writer to reader?

Geezer

is an argument that could go on for hours, [and make poems about it].
So, are we using poems of those in the group to reconstruct, and going through them one at a time?
I'm not quite clear on that score. ~ Geezer.
.

S

here are the assignment for rewrite of others' imagery poor poems. Rula, this is optional for you since you already rewrote my poem "A New Day"but you can do it again if you wish. I will rewrite Geezer's "Ginger sleeps". Gee you may rewrite Joker fade's "Shapes". Tyro please rewrite Rula's "S Way Out". Joker face you may rewrite Tyro's "The Coming of Spring" ;
for this exercise please post the rewrites here on the workshop page.

S

My rewrite of Geezer's "ginger Sleeps" and And joker face's rewrite of Tyro's "The coming of spring". That darn ol' scribbler needs to get with it lol

S

Original:
Bright white light, floods yet again
Locked in waist length braids
She proudly walks
Stepping safe and sure
Her calm allure, so pure

Sleep into silent dream
Unknown worlds and schemes
Clouded, foggy visions
Green gardens of faith
Beyond the guarded gate

Clear stream of unconsciousness
Pulls her heart from scorching fire
He tosses it aside
Stay here forever...
His fantasy stops

Looking weak and fragile
We fear the worst
It falls beyond the pale
No warmth, and so
She never wakes

Thinks he...
She might be dying
Rewrite with more imagery:
GINGER SLEEPS
Light reflects from
red waist deep locks
as she sways and walks,
her steps sure and pure

Her nocturnal dreams
carry her to strange unknown worlds
with crystalline visions
of colorful gardens
with but one single sagging gate

Upon her opening it
she loses consciousness
and she tosses restlessly...then suddenly stays
with a jarring stop
accompanied by a deep
fear of death
as she falls

through a pocket of comforting warmth
which wakens her and belays the false fear
of mortality.

Geezer

Geezer

10 months 4 weeks ago

that in the rewrite, you shouldn't be afraid to change some of the lines a little bit. Nicely done sir.

S

change can come in many ways so don't fear it if it improves imagery.After all it's often imagery which makes a poem memorable

Mark

Very nice Stan! Maintaining the theme is most important in this class I believe because it leaves room for creativity in imagery around it, how I believe it to be.

Rula

Rula

10 months 3 weeks ago

It's almost dawn, I open the door
and let the air rushes in
Fresh and cool, I don't need more
the sun soon rises ; an extra win.

A few steps onto the old wooden deck
and squirrels start to bark at me
I shrug my shoulders and my neck
in the shadow of the giant oak tree.

A deer appears from somewhere afar
then stops and strangely stares at me
I thought that is quite bizarre;
it turns and walks carelessly.

a few wild doves come rocket by,
dodging limbs without effort
then disappear in the clear wide sky
announcing the day a perfect fort

Rula

Rula

10 months 3 weeks ago

when I took the liberty to do whatever changes I need , I found it easier to work it out.
I am happy you like it.

S

Everybody review their own rewritten poem then use the rewritten poems to improve your poems. Post your poems on stream.

Rula

Rula

10 months 3 weeks ago

a new one depending on what we've learnt here as stated in the syllabus, boss.
I think the rewritten pieces (at least mine) has enough imagery to it.

S

I would appreciate feedback and suggestions on this workshop

S

I would appreciate feedback and suggestions on this workshop

Rula

Your efforts are appreciated, always.
I see nothing to suggest but lots of appreciation.
Thank you.

Geezer

Geezer

10 months 3 weeks ago

that in as much as we have had at least half of the group quit before we even started, it was a pretty decent workshop.
I'm not sure what to suggest, that might make it better. ~ Geez.
.

Mark

Mark

10 months 1 week ago

I regret being inactive in this workshop. Health issues had me distracted. Then I underwent a third heart attack. Then started hemodialysis.
Thank you Stan I did look in at times. It was a difficult shop in my opinion. I see who our experts are in the end.
Truly,

Description: Encourage use of imagery by discussion and exercises. Leader: Scribbler Moderator(s): Geezer, Paul, Mark Objectives: Getting accustomed to using imagery. Level of expertise: Open to all Subject matter: imagery

Imagery in poetry

imagery definition:The art of making images, figurative language, the product of imagination. (this comes from Webster's 9th collegiate dictionary.)

Opening statement...Why use imagery?One reason is to add beauty to a poem, Another is to draw a reader into your poem.
Here is an example of a good use of imagery by Robert Frost.

Good Hours
I had for my winter evening walk
no one at all with whom to talk,
but I had the cottages in a row
up to their shining eyes in snow

And I thought I had the folk within
I had the sound of a violin.
I had a glimpse through curtain laces
of youthful forms and youthful faces.

I had such company outward bound
I went until there were no cottages found
I turned and repenting,but coming back
I saw no window but was black.

Over the snow my creaking feet
disturbed the slumbering village street
like profanation by your leave
at ten o'clock of a winter eve.

Now we'll discuss how this drew the readers in
It's the imagery which did that. Don't believe it?
then reread it leaving out all descriptive words.

open to questions and comments. We will now also talk about the many types of imagery

onward to exercises
#1 each person try to write a poem with little or no imagery
post your poem on stream(don't forget to hit the workshop button)
also try to keep it under 16 lines

2. Everybody read all these imagery poor poems and post your thoughts comment section below each poem

3.Check the membership list.
go to the person listed below your name.
Now rewrite his/her poem using rich imagery
Be sure to acknowledge the original writer
post your rewrite on stream.
DO NOT RUSH!!!

4. We will now discuss each rewritten poem comparing it to original write
*discussions will be ongoing throughout the shop on stream.

5. Now write a poem using what you have learned here.

6. read all these final poems and comment hen vote on your favorite DO NOT VOTE FOR MY POEM

Subject to change