tyro
May 25, 2024
This poem is part of the workshop:

How to use imagery in poetry..

(Read More...)

A WAY OUT

The night is solid black,
there is but one star out,
the moon a thin sliver.

And a sudden fear strikes me,
Which can happen if lost
in the middle of a black forest,

where you could not see the trees,
with barely enough light to see
beyond your outstretched arm.

So, we huddle closely together,
our souls burning like a light tower
against this, scary, too silent night.

We hold our vigil, share our heat,
the way fires can combine as one,
We await the saving light of day.

We await haven’s eye to open
and spotlight two huddled
before the splendid rays of god.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I've been tasked to rewrite Rula's poem, a way out, by adding images. I took a lot of liberties with the poem, in order to build a clear narrative on which to work.

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: The Nederlands

Favorite Poets: William Butler Yates

More from this author

Comments

paleoray

filled with nature-final days metaphors. I like your last stanza the most which describes the final journey passage to Heaven. I would however capitalize the last word - "God."
Thank you for this fine post.

Rula

Rula

11 months ago

Nice imagery added all through, I v. much like it though you took it to a very different direction.
Still I appreciate your effort and what you did.
Great job indeed.
P.s I think line two in s. 2 you mean (happen)?
Thank you for sharing.

T

tyro

11 months ago

thanks for the comment, it's alsway nice when someone finds value in your poem .
Tyro

T

tyro

11 months ago

I was happy I received your poem to work with. I hope you don't mind I went so far off track.

Tyro

Rula

Always great to read you!
I think you did really great with this one especially with that punch of imagery.
Thank you so much