Freedom!

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem presents a clear theme of longing for freedom, which is effectively communicated through the use of metaphors and imagery. The concept of freedom is personified as having 'torn and tattered wings', which gives the reader a sense of its fragility and the speaker's desire to restore it.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of rhythm and rhyme. The first two lines set up an expectation for a specific rhythm and rhyme scheme (ABAB), but this is not consistently followed throughout the poem. For instance, the third and fourth lines do not rhyme, and the rhythm is disrupted. Consistency in rhythm and rhyme can enhance the musicality of the poem and make it more engaging for the reader.

The use of 'it's' in the fourth line appears to be a grammatical error. The contraction 'it's' stands for 'it is' or 'it has', which does not make sense in this context. The possessive 'its' (without the apostrophe) would be grammatically correct.

The poem effectively uses imagery to convey the speaker's emotions. Phrases like 'the fear that rings aloud' and 'heavens open door' create vivid mental pictures that help the reader to understand and empathize with the speaker's feelings. However, the poem could benefit from more specific and unique imagery. Using more unexpected or unusual images can make the poem more memorable and impactful.

The poem could also benefit from more development of its ideas. The speaker expresses a strong desire for freedom, but it's not entirely clear what they want to be free from. Providing more details about the speaker's situation could make the poem more engaging and relatable.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates a longing for freedom, but could be improved by more consistent use of rhythm and rhyme, correction of grammatical errors, use of more specific and unique imagery, and further development of its ideas.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

"Freedom" meant to be in the Ode to a Service Hero contest? If so, go back and enter it in the contest, it isn't registered. ~ Geez.
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Well done, tight and complete. The value, and presentation of real freedom is held up very well in your metaphors. Very strong, very direct, a complete picture... and in so few words!

Tyro

Well said indeed. Can't suggest anything other than trying to give the line before the last a smoother read.
A piece that I really wish I had writen. Bravo!
Thank you for sharing!

but I would suggest
"that's of men's reproach no more"
to avoid repeating "fear" in such close lines.
But indeed it's your call, sir

I like it as is. Let's see what others might say.