Queen Tanka

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Queen Tanka" adheres to the traditional 5-7-5-7-7 syllable structure of a tanka, which is commendable. However, the narrative could benefit from more clarity. The second line, "front door deliveries please," is somewhat ambiguous. It might be more effective if it were more directly connected to the rest of the poem.

The progression from "firstly, a crown for a queen" to "lastly, our very own world" is intriguing and suggests a story, but the lack of context makes it hard for the reader to fully grasp the intended meaning. Providing more specific imagery or emotional cues could help to convey the intended narrative more effectively.

The use of the present tense in the first three lines and the past tense in the last two lines creates a disjointed temporal setting. Consistency in tense could improve the flow and coherence of the poem.

The poem could also benefit from the use of more poetic devices such as metaphor, simile, or alliteration to enhance its aesthetic appeal and depth.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

with the AI on this one. I find it a bit hard to follow. There doesn't seem to be much of a connection between the crown for a queen and our very own world. I think I get your message, that you answered the door and [or her door], laid eyes on her and that started the relationship, where you might be smitten and having an exclusive relationship, but I think you need to connect it better. ~ Geez.
.

what a time it was
deliveries, front door please
I saw you, and then
a crown for a queen firstly
our very own world lastly

By submitting a Tanka, you have made this piece virtually unable to be used for this project.
The only way to add any descriptive words, would be to rewrite it as something other than a Tanka.
~ Geezer.
.

It is nearly impossible to take a poem of this type and add more imagery without losing the form. So I'll ignore the form and see what I can do:
What a seemingly distant time it was
When only formal deliveries came to front doors
Then I beheld the beauty of you
A queen, it seemed, without her crown
who joined me in creating our own world.

Trust you to find a bypass