tyro
May 07, 2024
This poem is part of the workshop:

How to use imagery in poetry..

(Read More...)

The coming of Spring

The buds are thickening,
And I feel as emptied
As an unfulfilled year.

Perhaps, also, I
Do pivot my life
As the spring's new growth.

And if my growth does cycle
With tender timed spring...
Then I shall not flower.

This time of new life,
Still in winter's grip,
Finds me unhappy,

And in remembrance
Of a year that housed
Arrested growth.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: The Nederlands

Favorite Poets: William Butler Yates

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Your poem "The coming of Spring" beautifully captures the juxtaposition of new beginnings and lingering feelings of stagnation. The imagery of buds thickening and the comparison to unfulfilled potential is poignant. The theme of personal growth mirroring the cycle of nature is well-developed throughout the poem. Consider exploring the emotions further to enhance the impact of the contrast between the promise of spring and the lingering discontent. Additionally, you may want to experiment with the structure to create a more dynamic flow that complements the thematic elements of the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Rula

Rula

11 months 3 weeks ago

say that this has no imagery because I can see and feel. It all reaches me easily and I can always relate..
I like the comparison you've made between you and the flower in the opening lines.
I am only not sure that the last two stanzas need to be separated.
Just that and as always I've enjoyed the read and look forward to reading the improved piece.
Thank you for sharing.

Mark

Mark

11 months 3 weeks ago

Very good tyro. Very little imagery but enough for a poet to grab onto and run with his or her creaivity.

T

tyro

11 months 3 weeks ago

The comment by Mark sums up what I was trying to do; give a solid base to work with.

for visual harmony each stanza is three lines.

Rula

Rula

11 months 3 weeks ago

I wanted to say exactly what Mark said but in different words. Sorry if I wasn't clear enough.

S

I hope you are doing better. Yes you have really put the screws to somebody. I hesitate to assign this to anybody other than myself

S

just enough imagery to lead another shop member in the direction to improve this poem.........stan