Geezer

May 03, 2024

This poem is part of the workshop:

How to use imagery in poetry..

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Description: Encourage use of imagery by discussion and exercises. Leader: Scribbler Moderator(s): Geezer, Paul, Mark Objectives: Getting accustomed to using imagery. Level of expertise: Open to all Subject matter: imagery

Imagery in poetry

imagery definition:The art of making images, figurative language, the product of imagination. (this comes from Webster's 9th collegiate dictionary.)

Opening statement...Why use imagery?One reason is to add beauty to a poem, Another is to draw a reader into your poem.
Here is an example of a good use of imagery by Robert Frost.

Good Hours
I had for my winter evening walk
no one at all with whom to talk,
but I had the cottages in a row
up to their shining eyes in snow

And I thought I had the folk within
I had the sound of a violin.
I had a glimpse through curtain laces
of youthful forms and youthful faces.

I had such company outward bound
I went until there were no cottages found
I turned and repenting,but coming back
I saw no window but was black.

Over the snow my creaking feet
disturbed the slumbering village street
like profanation by your leave
at ten o'clock of a winter eve.

Now we'll discuss how this drew the readers in
It's the imagery which did that. Don't believe it?
then reread it leaving out all descriptive words.

open to questions and comments. We will now also talk about the many types of imagery

onward to exercises
#1 each person try to write a poem with little or no imagery
post your poem on stream(don't forget to hit the workshop button)
also try to keep it under 16 lines

2. Everybody read all these imagery poor poems and post your thoughts comment section below each poem

3.Check the membership list.
go to the person listed below your name.
Now rewrite his/her poem using rich imagery
Be sure to acknowledge the original writer
post your rewrite on stream.
DO NOT RUSH!!!

4. We will now discuss each rewritten poem comparing it to original write
*discussions will be ongoing throughout the shop on stream.

5. Now write a poem using what you have learned here.

6. read all these final poems and comment hen vote on your favorite DO NOT VOTE FOR MY POEM

Subject to change

This workshop is closed.

Tree Hugger...

When I awoke, I felt so bad,
I went to hug my favorite tree.
I thought about the fears I had,
No one would fear, but me.

"Too bad", I thought I heard it say
The bark, it scratched my face
I hugged it all the tighter
As my mind began to race

I'm losing it, I really am
"Too bad", I heard it say
Are my ears deceiving me?
Have I gone all the way?

"I will comfort you, my friend.
Hold me close again.
I'll take you down the rabbit-hole,
free you from your pain."

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Tree Hugger" presents an intriguing exploration of the speaker's emotional state and relationship with nature. It employs a consistent rhyme scheme, which contributes to the overall rhythm and flow of the piece. However, there are areas where the poem could benefit from further refinement.

1. Clarity: The poem seems to oscillate between the speaker's internal thoughts and the imagined voice of the tree. This can create some confusion for the reader. It might be beneficial to use formatting or punctuation to distinguish more clearly between the speaker's voice and the tree's voice.

2. Consistency: The poem begins with the speaker's personal fears, but the latter part of the poem seems to shift the focus to the tree's pain. It might be helpful to maintain a consistent focus throughout the poem to enhance the reader's understanding and engagement.

3. Imagery: The poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery. For example, instead of saying "The bark, it scratched my face," the speaker could describe the texture of the bark, the sensation of the scratch, or the emotional impact of this interaction. This would help to create a more immersive experience for the reader.

4. Theme: The theme of the poem seems to be the speaker's emotional connection with the tree, which serves as a source of comfort and possibly a projection of the speaker's own feelings. It might be beneficial to explore this theme more deeply and explicitly, perhaps by delving into why this particular tree is significant to the speaker or how exactly it provides comfort.

5. Language: The language used in the poem is relatively straightforward, which can be effective in conveying the speaker's emotional state. However, the poem could potentially be enriched by the use of more varied and sophisticated language, including figurative language such as metaphors or similes.

6. Conclusion: The poem ends on a somewhat ambiguous note, with the speaker asking the tree to "Take from me, my pain." It might be beneficial to provide a more definitive conclusion, perhaps by showing the outcome of this request or the speaker's emotional state after this interaction with the tree.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Communication

The minds eye can see a lot relative to who is percieving what is being communicated in this example of communication. I can visualize what is hugging a tree, I can feel (tactile) the bark because I have in my experience, I can hear (auditory) the tree talking because I have heard Treebeard (Lord of the Rings), taste is not included here in the senses which would give me another opportunity to expand on the imagery. I have tasted tree (maple syrup) My favorite tree cried for me and it was so sweet.
Anyhow, anybody with an amount of wisdom can find a lot of imagery in this poem. I believe it is impossible for most poets to write a poem without imagery of some sort. Poetry without imagery would be very boring in my opinion.

Thank you for...

your read and comments, I see what you say, but I did not use any direct imagery. ~ Geez.
.

Intriguing

Your meter is captivating, Geezer, feels like your heart beating against the tree trunk. I feel the contradiction in emotions. Well done.

Thank you...

I really do have a huge old tree that is probably a hundred years or better, at the back of my yard, up against the embankment of the backyards and street above me. I haven't been out to hug him yet this year, [I do it with no one around; you know what they think of old people that go around hugging trees]. He is a great neighborhood friend, that harbors a couple of bird nests, a squirrel or two and one woodchuck, [gopher], in his roots. Still strong and healthy, he holds back the yard on the above street. I'll go out today while the weather is nice. I'll say hello for you. ~ Geez.
.

Thank you

I appreciate you greeting him for me. Growing up in New Orleans, I was surrounded by ancient oak trees and fell in love with nature's sculpture in their silhouettes.

Hi Gee

I expect you found it difficult to write with a minimum amount of imagery

Yes...

I did. It is more difficult than I thought at first. I appreciate Mark's thoughts, in so much that anyone who has sight, hearing, and touch; put their own images in the bland spots. ~ Geez.
.

uh huh

I think those of us with creative minds will have images pop up in those bland spots. Like feelings they just come up and we really cannot control them. However those images will more than likely not be what the poet sees until the poet directs those images with nouns and adjectives so both poet and reader see or hear or feel or taste the same things or close to it. What the poet passes on becomes more relative.