Our Love
Like the sun shining at day break
on mountain peaks standing tall
Under white clouds moving quietly
Amid blue skies in stormy seasons
Our love makes lonely hearts
Wish for one more chance at love
Like rivers running wider than the eyes can see
Where the sunset falls slowly into deep valleys
Under reddish heavens resilient colors
Streaking the wind driven seas
Our love makes lonely hearts
Wish for one more chance at love
Like the full moon’s brilliant orange circle
Hanging low on a February evening
Under a darkening cosmic atmosphere
Shedding light for creatures’ night hunting
Our love makes lonely hearts
Wish for one more chance at love
Comments
Hi Bee
appreciate. I think it sound good with your omit suggestions.
Wonderfully lucid Barbara
mmm, if this is what learning Cobol does for your poetry maybe I should take a course myself!
I'm not sure if those words exactly are the ones I would edit, but I agree with Bee that some slight pruning could tighten it up.
Hey Jess
I appreciate your comment. What would you suggest. i'm sure it would make this a good write also.
no no no
that's entirely your choice, just look closely, listen closely, consider the meaning and the sound, you know the drill.
Yeah I do
thanks for the reminder. I must pay attention more to the meaning and sound. Just wonder what you thought, don't mean I will change the meaning.
cheers
hi
was wondering what had happened to you. a very enjoyable write...................scribbler
hi scribbler
college classes has much of my time. I'm trying to get pass these many projects and programs, rough but enjoying the learning
thanks for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate it much