A flash of lightning illuminating a
golden staircase and forks with violent
Snaps splitting the dome of vastness
Knifing through the cold blackness
Jumping from the black mamba clouds
Then targeting with wild cracks and
Whips splitting the sky in half
With white sparks
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
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so visual, so precise. and it
so visual, so precise. and it had a cadence I could easily follow.
I particularly like, " splitting the dome of vastness"
I feel I am there seeing this happen.
great poem; it is highly evocative, and it has been said that pure poetry has no unnecessary words.
Thank you
Thank you I appreciate the positive feedback man !