insights of a orphan

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Insights of an Orphan" presents a powerful narrative of an individual who feels wronged and misunderstood by society. The repeated refrain "Call me guilty, I am not / Lock me up until I rot" effectively conveys the speaker's sense of injustice and frustration.

However, the poem could benefit from further exploration of the speaker's unique perspective as an orphan. The first two lines introduce this aspect of their identity, but it is not fully developed in the rest of the poem. Expanding on this could provide a more nuanced understanding of the speaker's experiences and worldview.

The poem also uses a variety of metaphors, such as "holding the keys to hell" and "the thread of life." While these metaphors add depth to the poem, they could be more effectively integrated into the overall narrative. Currently, they appear somewhat disconnected from each other and from the main theme of the poem.

The final stanza introduces a philosophical question about the nature of reality. This is an interesting concept, but it seems somewhat abrupt given the focus on personal injustice in the rest of the poem. If the speaker's questioning of reality is a central part of their experience, it could be beneficial to introduce this idea earlier in the poem and explore it in more depth.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more precise language and imagery. For example, instead of the general phrase "line your pockets with filthy change," the poem could provide specific examples that illustrate this concept. This would make the speaker's criticisms of society more concrete and impactful.

Overall, the poem presents a compelling narrative and effectively conveys the speaker's emotions. With further development of its themes and imagery, it could provide an even more powerful exploration of the speaker's experiences and perspectives.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

It sounds like you aren't getting much support. hang in there, I know it's not easy, but you can do this. I get where you are coming from. I think that with a few changes, you can make this a bit smoother. Take your time, read it aloud. When you find a bump in the rhythm, ask yourself why? Sometimes, just one syllable is too many, sometimes, it doesn't seem to matter.
As you read aloud you will find the places that matter. Change to a word that still means the same thing, for one that has one less syllable in it. The line: "Is beginning to show signs of strain". You can make it "Is starting to show, signs of strain".
Little things to make it smoother to read. ~ Geezer.
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A worthy winner. I would, personally, have rephrased so slightly but that is just me and the way I try to use language. Well written. Alex

Oftentimes a powerful story and a silky smooth presentation don’t fit together in a single piece. You have written a powerful poem in a strong voice.

I don’t know where you are in your poetic journey, but I do know you should keep writing. There will be those who nitpick fine points of technique - tune them out. Listen to those who are touched by your message and offer constructive feedback. Above all, keep writing!

i see why you won.