Retrospective glare

Why when your clothes get snagged on a pin
Do you pull and unravel the thread?
You tug and you tug but you can’t win
Like unraveling the thoughts from his head

He is not a simple man, like he so thinks he is
He is preternatural, aberrated, rare
Yet calls himself a freak of his
own nature, oh how I despair

You cannot see me in the bright that I see you
I’m worried you may see me in a glare
Though one day I hope for you to see who
I am and why the other boys stare

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Unrequited love. I should move on, it’s doing nothing but dragging me down, but it’s nice just staying snagged on this hook.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: belgium

Favorite Poets: its basic but i adore Mr Wilde and ive been reading his stuff for a long while.

Comments

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Retrospective glare" delves into the complexities of human nature and self-perception. The imagery of unraveling threads and thoughts effectively conveys a sense of inner turmoil and introspection. The contrast between the speaker's perception of the subject and his own self-image adds depth to the poem.

One suggestion for improvement could be to further develop the theme of self-perception versus external perception. Exploring this contrast in more detail could enhance the impact of the poem and provide a clearer narrative arc for the reader to follow. Additionally, considering varying the rhythm or structure of the poem could help create a more dynamic flow and engage the reader on a deeper level.

Overall, "Retrospective glare" shows promise in its exploration of identity and perception. With some further refinement and development, the poem has the potential to resonate more strongly with the audience.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact