Sometimes we talk about death
and all it has taken away. Maybe we'll find religion,
or look deeper into philosophy, or a similar comfort
to help us manage our grief and concern.
For now, we'll settle for what we have
together, among the here and now.
And maybe, just maybe this
will help keep the unknown at bay.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
I like...
your theme and it's implications.
The areas that we seek comfort in, do not always bring us relief.
The structure should keep the ideas together, by closing the line breaks,
and leaving it all one piece, rather than the double lines that fragment it.
~ Geez.
.
Thanks Geez. Interesting
Thanks Geez. Interesting structure comments. Is this a accepted rule with free verse poetry (as presented by your comment), or perhaps a difference in style preferences? Much of the free verse style poetry I read seem to be fairly random in this regard, but maybe there is a hole in my understanding about this? Either way, I want to explore your suggestion with this piece - appreciate this!.
Best
Maybe merge...
the first two lines and the second two lines? It isn't any kind of rule, just a matter of making the lines/ideas look connected.
~ Geez.
.
Just What We Have
Hello, Michael,
Years ago, right after my husband was diagnosed with an illness, we dug into all types of cures, remedies, suggestions and info on the internet, and anything we could grab from friends, loved ones, people who've "been there." Finally, enough was enough and we just embraced our "normal" life and days. That was the best way to keep the unknown at bay.
Lovely and so true,
L
Thanks L. Sounds like we've
Thanks L. Sounds like we've travelled a similar path.
Best
Dear Michael,
free verse is just that: FREE VERSE! the only rule is: Anything Goes! (that is my impression!) I like the message in your poem and employ it when I get my OCD wrestled and pinned to the mat.
*hugs, Cat
That's been my understanding
That's been my understanding as well about free verse style poetry. Structuring this one the way I did seemed to give each stanza a bit more resonance, at least for me.
Best