zuella
zuella
Mar 17, 2024

contrarians

I always pick the ones that dont care
I ignore and ick out at the ones that do,
Constantly turning my head at every buzz from my phone,
its not fair.

"Why can't you want me like the other boys do?"
like id still be interested in you if you did,
what's wrong with me
why am I stuck on you?

I can't stop myself from responding instantly
it takes you hours
I sit there in waiting like a damsel in distress,
why does everything you do have to be done inconsistently?

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I dont know, im not good at poetry, im just emotional

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: belgium

Favorite Poets: its basic but i adore Mr Wilde and ive been reading his stuff for a long while.

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "contrarians" explores themes of unreciprocated feelings and inconsistency in relationships. The use of contrasting attitudes towards attention and responsiveness creates a sense of frustration and longing. The poem effectively conveys the speaker's internal conflict and desire for validation.

One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop the imagery and sensory details to enhance the emotional impact of the poem. By incorporating vivid descriptions or metaphorical language, you can immerse the reader more deeply into the speaker's experience. Additionally, consider refining the structure and flow of the poem to create a more cohesive narrative that guides the reader through the speaker's journey of self-reflection and longing.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Alex Tanner

Very interesting, reminds me how my granddaughter used to be. She got over it, eventually, I think. Alex

Geezer

Your language use is consistently appropriate for the matter,
and I think that most all of us have that natural wonder of
"Why don't they think I'm good-looking or what don't they like about me" ?
I guess it's a matter of how much we care what other people think of us.
The older you get, the more it becomes apparent, that not everyone you meet, is going to like who you are.
That goes for looks and ideas too. So? You don't like everything about anyone either, right?
I see that you have some knowledge of punctuation and are trying to use it to enhance your lines.
Good! I like this one almost as much as your first. ~ Geezer.
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