scribbler
Feb 25, 2024

MONSTERS

Daddy are monsters real?
My daughter asks with pleading eyes.
which melt my heart of carbon steel
as desert sun begins to rise.

There was a time I'd have said no
But age has taught me the hard facts.
Should I tell her what I know
Monsters are made by their acts.

How can one say they don't dwell
everywhere that Hamas roams.
Monsters sent to us from hell
to destroy our hopes and homes.

Monsters that use children as shields.
Who hide in schools, hospitals and churches.
Who slaughter babies in the fields
rape and murder among the birches.

Then they cry so piteously
When their acts are taken to task.
Monsters who have come to be
hiding behind a human mask.

They call themselves Hamas.
They slaughter and kill all in their path.
While letting their people die en masse.
and deal with the aftermath.

The Hamas vampires in Gaza's shadows
and their Renfields who blindly follow.
True monsters who should be stood in rows
then killed and thrown into forgotten hollow.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, titled "MONSTERS," is a political commentary that uses the metaphor of monsters to describe a specific group, Hamas. The poem's structure is consistent, with a regular rhyme scheme that provides a rhythmic flow.

However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced approach. The portrayal of Hamas as monsters is one-sided and does not consider the complexities of the political situation. While it is valid to criticize any group's actions, it is important to avoid dehumanizing language, as it can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and misunderstandings.

The poem's emotional impact could be enhanced by focusing on specific incidents or personal experiences, rather than broad generalizations. This would provide a more grounded and relatable perspective for the reader.

The use of vivid imagery, such as "hiding behind a human mask" and "vampires in Gaza's shadows," effectively conveys a sense of fear and menace. However, the poem could benefit from more varied and original imagery to avoid cliches and deepen its emotional resonance.

The final lines of the poem advocate for violence, which is a problematic stance. Poetry can be a powerful tool for expressing anger and frustration, but it is important to promote understanding and empathy rather than further violence.

In terms of language, the poem uses a mix of formal and informal language. This inconsistency can be distracting for the reader. The poem could benefit from a more consistent tone to enhance its overall coherence and impact.

Finally, the poem contains several spelling and grammatical errors, such as "steal" instead of "steel" and "en mass" instead of "en masse," which detract from its overall quality. Proofreading and editing could help to improve these issues.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Candlewitch

I know just how you feel... you have said it all.

*love, cat

S

I expect to catch hell for this from the PC crowd but I don't care. Do I feel sorry for the children being killed? YES! But apparently their parents hate Israel more than they love their children.

Candlewitch

your comment is dead on correct! what is it about hate that crawls under our skin and consumes us? I do not understand it... It is a horrible feeling so why do we cultivate it? When hate takes hold it feels like thee is no going back! If you catch hell for this, I will stand by you shoulder to shoulder!

*Love, Cat