Clentin
Feb 10, 2024
This poem is part of the contest:

02/24 Warning

(Read More...)

Warning

Warnings come to us in many ways
They often change throughout our days

From Mother’s directions when we crossed the street
To Father’s cautions about those we meet

Teachers tell us not to cheat
Explaining the actions we would meet

Then there are those things
That everyday life brings

A son whose children are now wed
Alerting us to how much time has fled

A reminder our days have flown by
More often we think about the day we will die

We should heed the warnings, subtle or bold
That clearly show us how truths unfold

Warnings are here in many ways
That hopefully will improve our days

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Warning" effectively uses repetition and rhyme to convey its message about the importance of heeding warnings in life. The use of various sources of warnings - from parents to teachers to life experiences - adds depth and relatability to the poem.

However, the poem could benefit from more precise language and varied sentence structure. For example, the line "Explaining the actions we would meet" is a bit vague and could be clarified. What actions are being referred to? Are they consequences of cheating?

The poem also tends to rely on end rhyme, which can sometimes feel forced or predictable. Experimenting with internal rhyme or slant rhyme might add an unexpected element to the poem and keep the reader engaged.

The poem's theme is clear and universal, but it could be deepened with the addition of specific, concrete details. For instance, instead of just stating "A son whose children are now wed," the poem could paint a picture of this scene or delve into the emotions it provokes.

Lastly, the poem's rhythm is somewhat inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow for the reader. Paying attention to the syllable count in each line and ensuring it's consistent throughout the poem could help improve the rhythm and overall readability.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Leslie

That was good filled with wisdom. I liked it.

C

Thankyou. Ps:
I too have had multiple replies, it seems that every so often it seems our answer is not realized so I hit the button until I see a response!

Candlewitch

You are right on the money about both your poem and your response to Leslie. the system is slow, so one should wait a while before pushing the button again. How are you doing today?

*hugs, Cat

RoseBlack

How right you are, Clentin. Warnings change throughout our life and sometimes we are so caught up in the moment, we fail to see or heed them. Or if you are me and run straight for the red flags! Great work.

C

Thanks Rose. I was thinking that all warnings aren’t always specific. Some come in forms of emotions, thoughts, actions that may direct us in many ways.
Again, thank you

Geezer

I would make is of removing the possive apostrophe from teachers.
~ Geez.
.

Leslie

Interesting how the truth rings in all of our ears!

Unca Fez

Your poem identifies many of the little warning signs that a person receives throughout life. How we deal with them directs our lives. We can choose to acknowledge them and plan accordingly. We can be contrarians and do the exact opposite. Lastly, we can recognize the warning but don't want to believe it. I think this last category applies to most of us at one time or another. (e.g., My arthritis is getting worse and I could benefit from using a cane, but doing so would be admitting that I'm getting older.)

Your poem gives a person a lot to think about.

T

This submission is so true and after reading I won’t take for granted the warnings or guidance I receive from so many mentors in my life.

H

I enjoyed this poem!! It is truly eye opening to the warnings we are taught every day.

Best,
hippiemoon

C

Thank you very much. Each poem I write has an inner meaning to me, I think this is what poetry is about- emotions and feeling of thewriter. Thank you for reading. Keep writing

William Lynn

Hello Clentin.

I thoroughly enjoyed the poem. I suppose the older we are the more we can relate, and relate I certainly did.

Thanks for sharing! - Will

C

Thank you for reading. And your comments. I think we need to pay attention to the many parts of our lives that direct us into many ways.