ONE-EYED WANDA
One night in Fraserburgh, I went out for a few beers
Then I headed down the harbour for a daunder
Slightly tipsy , I was peering at a trawler’s winching gear
When I saw her in the moonlight: One - Eyed Wanda
At nearly 20 stone, I wouldn’t say she was a looker
And she talked about strange things I didn’t know
I thought my charms were working, ’till she said she was a hooker
I thought “women’s rugby - centre of front row?“
She couldn’t take me home , she said , because she’d been evicted
So we made the best of making it al fresco
She’d had the rent, until the time a thieving punter nicked it
So we knee-trembled around the back of Tesco’s
There was, however, benefit in using this location
And Wanda was quite happy to agree
To offer me the shopper‘s deal, and so to my elation
I had a bargain “buy one, get one free!”
Comments
WANDA
Glad it made you smile. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Ian
Wanda
Glad you enjoyed my foray into the realms of the risque. Not exactly erotic , but you can't have everything'
Thanks for stopping by.
Ian
thanks for the uneasy grins, Ian
I'm sure 99% of our American readers won't understand
"I thought my charms were working, ’till she said she was a hooker
I thought “women’s rugby - centre of front row?“"
but they'll probably get the gist of the misapprehension,
translation
Thanks, Jess. I thought that "daunder", i.e. a leisurely stroll, might have caught out some.
Ian
laughter
Thanks for the kind words, always a pleasure to give people a laugh, especially Florentines!
Love
Ian XX
PS I remember a few years ago , on holiday in Tuscany, our tour guide (from Pisa) told us that Florentines were so mean they buried their relatives with their heads out of the ground to save the price of a photograph!
What to say,
What to say, i think everybody knows a Wanda, not intimately i mean uh em. No seriously another great write Ian. Regards Roscoe..
Wanda
So you were the guy I bumped into round the back of Tesco's !
I was doing poetic research - honest.
Regards
Ian
Jayne
Glad I could give you a laugh, God knows you antipodeans need one with all your weather problems. I assume you were safe and well in the biblical- sized floods
Take Care
love
Ian xx