Aunt Nita's Tea Leaf Reading #1 (part of 2714 Girard Ave. N. Ghost Tales)Reworked

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem demonstrates a clear narrative structure, with a progression of events that build tension and intrigue throughout. The use of dialogue and direct speech effectively adds to the narrative quality of the poem, providing insight into the characters and their relationships.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of meter and rhyme. While some stanzas follow a clear ABAB rhyme scheme, others deviate from this pattern. This inconsistency can disrupt the rhythm of the poem and distract from the narrative.

Additionally, the poem might benefit from further exploration and development of its themes. The concepts of fate, destiny, and divination are introduced, but could be delved into more deeply. For instance, the implications of the protagonist's "Gifts" and the "darkness" they will attract could be further elaborated upon to add depth to the poem.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery. While the poem does a good job of telling the story, it could create a more immersive experience for the reader by showing more of the story through descriptive language. For example, instead of simply stating that the protagonist takes the bus, the poem could describe the sights, sounds, and feelings associated with this journey.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

leaving the number of syllables on the end of each line? ~ Geez.
.

the way we perceive the world is based on how we feel both physically and mentally. I know there are days that I absolutely should not say what I am thinking. I recently posted a note on my FB that said, my mouth just told me that "You had better be careful, because I just had some magic cookies, and I don't know what I might say." I didn't take offense, at your comments, because I know that you are not a mean-spirited person and must have misunderstood why I said what I said. Love ya, Geez and the boys.

In the second stanza:
I would switch the words widershins and swirl so that it appears as: widershin and swirl[ing] and
add a word to the last line, [and] stirring.

She pondered those leaves for a minute. - In the interest of smoothness?

"she looks deeply into my eyes" - again, smoother?

I was to marry three times over
fraught with disaster each one
The first the bane of my existence
to this man, I would lose a son :

Second marriage constructed in haste
he and I, were just twenty-one
married quick, divorced just the same
infidelity was his fun...

I will leave you to re-read and understand that sometimes, the matter of syllables isn't the be-all.
Breathing becomes more important when you read in rhyme, and some sounds take more breath than others.
I love the story, it reminds me of a poem I wrote about in an East Main St. stories.
Anyway, take a look at condensing your lines, and still making sense.

P.S. The boys are reading your stories before I can get to them! ~ Geez.

feeling somewhat better, but I think a slow recovery this time. ~ Geez.
.

Ahhh Cat, I see I missed this instalment doh.
The way you've written this as an unfolding story is interesting and it holds the reader until the end because we want answers. I enjoyed the action and could see the hands holding each other, that was a lovely touch for me and brought back memories. It was full of emotion, fear and the future. Great job, well done, Ruby :) xx