Leslie
Leslie
Jan 19, 2024

All God's children!

All God's children
standing in the rain

holding hands
in sweet refrain

hoping for
a new tomorow

cast aside
the angst of sorrow

and though it seems
an uphill climb

given time
the sun will shine

all God's children
in the rain

crying out
in one refrain!

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson

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neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses repetition and rhyme to create a rhythmic flow that is pleasing to the ear. The repeated phrase "All God's children" and "in the rain" serve to emphasize the collective experience of the subjects and their shared circumstances.

The poem could benefit from a more varied vocabulary. For instance, the word "refrain" is used twice in a relatively short poem. Consider using synonyms or other descriptive terms to avoid repetition and add more depth to the imagery.

The poem's theme of hope and resilience in the face of adversity is clear, but it could be made more compelling with the use of more specific imagery. Rather than stating "the angst of sorrow" and "an uphill climb", consider showing these experiences through concrete images or scenarios.

The poem's structure is consistent, with each stanza consisting of four lines. However, the rhythm is disrupted in the fifth stanza where the line "given time" is noticeably shorter than the rest. Consider revising this line to maintain the rhythm throughout the poem.

The poem's message is optimistic, suggesting that despite current hardships, a better future is possible. However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of this theme. Consider introducing elements of doubt or conflict to create tension and make the eventual resolution more satisfying.

In conclusion, this poem has a clear theme and a pleasing rhythm, but could benefit from a more varied vocabulary, more specific imagery, and a more nuanced exploration of its theme.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Hello, Leslie,
I really like this! Any way to work in just what word(s) they were using in their refrain? Seems like there may be something similar to a "Hallelujah!" in there somewhere...
Thank you,
L

Candlewitch

Do not listen to the Artificial Intelligence, as it does not understand many things. One of them, is human feelings! I like your poem just as it is!

*hugs, Cat

Leslie

You always have something uplifting to say. Thank you!

Leslie

I agree with your assesment of AI's inability to interpret human emotion.
As always thanks for your kind reply!