Geezer
Geezer
Jan 05, 2024
This poem is part of the workshop:

Earn A Poem Workshop 1

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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 12/31/23 to 01/06/24

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Are You Going to Heaven?...

Are you sure?
For only $29.99 a month, we can guarantee
you a spot in the Emerald Green Valley,
a resting spot described as Heaven!

Care free, you can lay about with no worries;
no mowing, shoveling snow or litter.
Fresh flags for veterans, and mourners for the friendless!
We take pleasure in making your stay here a pleasant one.

Our employees will take care of your every need
and will wake you on the day of ressurrection
providing testimony as to your worthiness
to make sure that you aren't left behind

Over a hundred years of satisfaction!
We have never heard a single complaint.
Valentine's Special coming up!
Half price for lovers in deadly triangles!

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

was a test to make sure that posting is possible. It is not as finished product, but will be as soon as I find the time to make it a full poem. ~ Geezer.
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Geezer

just a little something to get a post and make sure that the site was okay, but I had to finish it up. Apologies? Why? Not a big deal. I am always pleased when anyone responds to my work. Even if they are so eager, that they don't read the last word. LoL
I've done it myself. ~ Geez.
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Unca Fez

After reading the completed work, I think I still feel my original question is valid. This could almost be a script for one of those infomercials that promise miracle healing if you only believe (and send in $29.99 within the next 10 minutes.) ;)

At least for me, I find that organized religion is just another scam. I guess I have a hard time believing in miracles.

RoseBlack

I may need the half price special lol! Very clever and well written!

Candlewitch

No Heaven for me... I'm going for reincarnation in a different solar system! Your poem is a slam dunk! I love it when you do something so totally different and unexpected!

*L & H, Cat

Leslie

As to harmony in heaven, I don't buy it either there has got to be
conflict there. There would be no meaning without it. Besides
that there is always one or two idiots trying to throw a wrench
into any system. Opposition fuels the fire for growth and progress, but that is the way I see it personally.

Leslie

I thought that was interesting. Good job!

Geezer

once in a while I just go off on a thought. I guess I don't believe much in a heaven. I know that we are supposed to take it on faith, but I don't have much faith in anything having to do with religion and creed. I side with George Carlin, in saying that a just and wonderful god, shouldn't have to threaten or cajole his faithful into following him by saying that if you don't do as he says, that you will be thrown into a lake of fire to burn forever and ever. I guess this is just a rant against the constant commercialism of today's world. We have commercials for everything these days, look at the mega-churches, which offer salvation for the price of just a few dollars every month, just say you believe and send in your donations to pay for the pastor's new $600 suit! After all, he has to look good in the service of the Lord, and he needs his jet and mansion to spread the word and entertain the elite of the world, while the brilliant smile on his face is laughing all the way to the bank! ~ Geez.
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Geezer

that you think I am clever and witty. I have a great love for the absurd, the foolish and the eerie. I see the commercials for
things that you would think don't need hawking; like buying a burial plot, cremation and funeral services, and I wonder if maybe it's because people just like to see the advertisements. Do you have your favorite commercials? I love the ones about car insurance. It seems as though, the funnier they are, the better people like them. What is funny about car insurance and accidents? Anyway, thanks for the read and comments. ~ Geezer.
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Sen99

Sen99

1 year 2 months ago

Nice dry humour, a parody of a commercial, I believed I was reading a sales pitch for the ultimate funeral parlour.
I think I will book mine in June ;)

Geezer

I'm know for; dry sarcastic humor that sometimes treads a very fine line. I have days when my brain has a hard time
keeping up with my mouth, and I warn people that they may encounter a mouth unencumbered with a brain. I do parodies of commercials, [I have a love/hate relationship with them.] ~ Geezer.
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William Lynn

And not a single complaint, Go figure! I too, agree with the other responses. Cleverly written about a topic that divides many of us.

I guess we'll all know eventually but in the mean time, I'll continue to believe that the great hear after is a work of fiction. If I get it wrong and I bite the dust before ya', I'll try to let you know.

As the old barker would scream from his wagon, "Magic Elixir, just one dime, one tenth of a dollar. Cures moles, colds, sore holes and makes child birth a pleasure".

The pleasure was in reading the poem and it was free! Thanks, Will

Geezer

and comments. I think it's something, just not what most believe. No white-haired God, throwing thunderbolts and sending people to a pit of hell for acting like the animals he made them. Yeah... sure would be interested in hearing if I should make a run for it! Thanks again, ~ Geez.
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