MY BOY JACK HONEY DEE !

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem presents a vivid and sensory-rich narrative, which is a strength in any piece of poetry. However, there are some areas where clarity and coherence could be improved.

The first stanza introduces a sense of movement and energy with phrases like "Spinning to heavy symphony losing" and "Head pulled Back enjoying the vibration dancing around." However, the meaning of these lines could be clearer. It's suggested to consider revising these lines to better convey the intended feeling or action.

In the second stanza, the transition from day to night is beautifully captured in the line "while the end of daylight overlaps the beginning of night." This line effectively uses imagery to convey a specific moment in time.

The third stanza introduces a new character, but it's unclear who this character is and what their relationship is to the speaker. The line "The caress hug I gave you when I transported you back" is somewhat confusing. Is the speaker physically moving this person, or is this a metaphorical transportation? Clarifying this could improve the overall coherence of the poem.

Lastly, there are a few instances of repetition that don't seem to add to the poem's meaning or rhythm. For example, "enjoy the the emotions" in the third stanza. Removing unnecessary repetition could make the poem more concise and impactful.

Overall, the poem shows promise with its rich imagery and emotive language. With some revisions for clarity and coherence, it could be even stronger.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

One of my favorites...I have some stories around that particular shot. Lol

It took a few reads for me to catch up with your ideas here, forgive me if I'm slow to catch on.
It's not my usual drink so I was a little confused at first.
It has a nice flow and a little more punctuation would improve it further for me.

I love this line: "while the end of daylight overlaps the beginning of night."
Well done, Ruby :) xx