Lavender
Lavender
Dec 30, 2023

Vow To January

I will not ask what cannot be given,
for what can't be helped must be forgiven.
I won't expect measureless days of sun,
nor hope for brave blossoms where there are none.

The wind may chap the addled garden gate,
and its eager verdure must simply wait.
I'll accept the silence of transfixed trees
as their branches endure the winter freeze.

I'll carry no grudge, nor shall I complain,
but try to befriend this winter domain.
Its crystal sky, its steely blue morning
will soothe my longing for spring's aborning.

As January wanders by my side,
its rousing air, snowy and purified,
I'll honor its nature, holdfast its will
to blanket this world, now quiet and still.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser

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More from this author

Comments

Ruby Lord

Hi Lavender, there are lots of lovely lines in this for example:

I'll accept the silence of transfixed trees
as their branches endure the winter freeze.

I thought the above two lines describe your scene perfectly.

And these two:

I'll honor its nature, holdfast its will
to blanket this world, now quiet and still.

Made me feel so peaceful as if you had wrapped me in your warm, soft words.

Adorable poem, I wish I'd written it. Ruby :) xx

Lavender

So glad you chose those specific lines - January has often been a hard month for me. I fight it instead of accepting it and honoring its quiet offerings. I'm going to try to befriend its natural gifts. As always, I appreciate it when you read and comment. Best wishes for the New Year to you!
Lxx

Triskelion

..I'm not sure how formal you want the metre to be, but I do notice variations line by line. There is, however a readability around these variations that is entirely fine.
The sentiment in your poem is lovely and I hope you will refine it at least a little more. Of course, I could go on, but there is that charm factor I dare not risk.

Thomas

Lavender

I appreciate your comments! While it's not always the best meter flow, I tried to keep a 10 syllable count, and I do see one line with only 9 syllables, which I will edit. I would love this to flow as gracefully as possible, and will work on it. If you have any more suggestions, that would be wonderful!
Thank you for reading!
L

Triskelion

..the syllable count when I referred to its natural charm metre-wise, of course. If, in a formal way, the metre should be consistent line to line, then there are variations line to line. Let me copy/paste a stanza and make outlines for you to study.

I'll HOLD no GRUDGE, nor SHALL I compLAIN,
but TRY to beFRIEND this WINter doMAIN.
Its CRYstal SKY, its STEELy blue MORNing
will SOOTH my LONGing for SPRING'S aBORNing.

In L1, you could change HOLD to CARRy to match the metre in the next line...(anapestically speaking, it's close!)
Anyway, I found the piece charming and by that virtue, found it also pleasant reading it with varying metre.
Don't change it on my account!

Thomas

Lavender

I like the word "carry" and will gratefully use your suggestion. As far as the meter, I've always struggled a bit and would really like to become better. I'll give this some thought.
Again, thanks for your time and your help with this one.
Happy New Year!
L