SCORCHED EARTH CLEANSING

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, "Scorched Earth Cleansing," presents a vivid portrayal of war and its aftermath. The imagery is stark and powerful, effectively conveying the harsh realities of conflict and its destructive effects.

However, there are a few areas that could benefit from further refinement.

1. Consistency in Metaphor Usage: The poem uses a variety of metaphors, such as "Soldiers leave deep footprints," "The hole in his head is a liar," and "Winged weapons plot downfall." While these are effective in isolation, the lack of a consistent metaphorical theme can make the poem feel disjointed. Consider focusing on a single metaphor or set of related metaphors to create a more cohesive narrative.

2. Rhythm and Meter: The rhythm of the poem is somewhat inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow for the reader. For instance, the line "Hunger in moth-eaten shame" is noticeably shorter than the other lines in the same stanza. Try to maintain a consistent rhythm and meter throughout the poem to enhance its musicality and readability.

3. Clarity of Message: While the poem effectively conveys the horrors of war, the intended message or perspective is somewhat unclear. For example, it's not clear who the "he" is in the line "The hole in his head is a liar." Providing more context or clarification could help the reader better understand the poem's message.

4. Use of Abstract Language: The poem frequently uses abstract language, such as "False tongues hurry to dance," and "Tears rain on enemy’s fight." While this can add a layer of complexity to the poem, it can also make it more difficult for the reader to grasp the intended meaning. Consider balancing abstract language with more concrete imagery to ensure the poem remains accessible.

By addressing these areas, the poem could offer a more impactful and cohesive exploration of its themes.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I never thought about war from this angle before. But war is also about controlling populations. No matter what; war is am abomination!

These lines stood out for me:

A world of murder and chaos,
When tyrant eradicates race,
The beginning of his downfall,
Aftermath is his country’s disgrace.

thanks for posting this!

Hello, Ruby,
Currently, there are 30-something ongoing conflicts around the world. So much loss of life, starvation, misplacement, destruction of land - and inhumanity and injustice to innocent victims. Hard to believe we humans continually do that to each other. Much to think about within your profound poem.
Thank you,
L

In the way of war, mass destruction etc. This has become a very scary world to live in and only seems to get worse. Your poem was intense and honest. Well done.

We don't seem to learn from our past mistakes. The human race seems to be the only species bent on its own destruction and willing to take the entire world with it. It is too bad that we cannot be born with the memory of being on the receiving end of this destruction.