911.....

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "911....." presents a narrative in the form of a dialogue, which is an interesting choice. The use of dialogue creates an immediate sense of tension and urgency, which is fitting for the subject matter.

However, the poem could benefit from more careful attention to punctuation and grammar. For instance, there are several instances where capitalization is inconsistent or incorrect, such as "Spanish, black, Caucasian?" and "OK mam we're is he now?". This can distract from the overall impact of the poem.

The use of dialect or colloquial language ("I don't no please help me!") can be effective in creating character and setting, but it's important to use it consistently and thoughtfully. In this poem, it's not clear whether these are intentional choices or errors.

The poem could also benefit from more sensory detail. While the dialogue creates a sense of immediacy, the reader is left to fill in a lot of the details of the scene. Some carefully chosen details could make the scene more vivid and engaging.

Finally, the poem ends on a cliffhanger, which can be an effective way to leave the reader wanting more. However, it might be worth considering whether there's a more satisfying or surprising way to conclude the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Has a lot of potential! Nice job capturing the fear in the victims voice as she tries to talk to the dispatcher. Your structure is getting better but where the sentences end and begin are still a little rough. I can't wait to see what you do with this.

Hello, this is 911, what's your emergency?
I need help! I saw man cut up a dead body,
and now he's following me!
Ma'am, where are you? What is your location, please?

Address redacted, please help me!
Ma'am, can you tell me what he looks like?
No, it was pitch black. All I know is he saw me,
and began chasing me!

Ok, ma'am try to stay calm. Where is he now?
He's kicking in my door. HELP ME!
Ma'am, does he have a weapon?
He was cutting up a body!

I'm in the closet, he's coming up the stairs!
Ma'am, stay with me, help is on the way. Ma'am?
(A blood curdling scream)
Ma'am, are you still with me? Ma'am, are you alright?

All units, I've lost contact with the caller.
All units, please hurry. I think she is in danger.
Ma'am, units are arriving.
Ma'am, are you there?