3 AM

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "3 AM" effectively utilizes vivid imagery and metaphor to convey a sense of insomnia, loneliness, and grief. The use of the phrase "Cobwebs dangle from exhausted eye lashes" creates a strong visual image of the speaker's tiredness and the late hour. The metaphor of loneliness as a quilt that "offers no comfort; my emotions it steals" is a powerful way to express the speaker's emotional state.

However, there are areas where the poem could be improved. The line "Sleep eludes me like an outgrown friend" could be reworked to maintain the consistency of the metaphor. The concept of sleep as an "outgrown friend" is not immediately clear and may confuse readers.

The stanza "Drinking from my tears, / the taste of sand in my mouth / has been eradicated by their honesty, / pushing my mind further South" is somewhat unclear. The reference to "their honesty" is ambiguous and may be clarified for better understanding.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm or meter. While free verse is a valid form of poetry, the inconsistent rhythm in this poem can make it feel disjointed.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys a sense of insomnia and grief through the use of vivid imagery and metaphor. With some adjustments to clarify certain metaphors and to create a more consistent rhythm, the poem could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Don't you hate it when you can't get back to sleep and your mind is whirring into nothingness but Morpheus escapes us?
I enjoyed the way you linked the unusual with the obvious in this poem:
Cobwebs dangle from exhausted eye lashes.
and
Drinking from my tears,
the taste of sand in my mouth
These are great lines.
Good job, nicely delivered, Ruby :) xx

most mornings, that is when I wake up! however, this particular morn, I made it to five. and I am grateful for it. I got into a pattern of waking up when Steven left for work five days a week, sometimes six (days). there was a period when I was an insomniac. I hated just lying there with my mind churning, listening to the ticking of the clock...

I love your poem. These are my favorite lines:

I close my eyes; hoping to disguise
my grief for someone who's still so alive.
Sleep comes surreptitiously
Morning will soon arrive

Exemplary work!
*love, Cat

that the metaphor of "Sleep eludes me like an outgrown friend"
was actually a quite good one. I guess that the AI having no experience of
having friends, wouldn't have the emotional outlook to see that a friend that you have
outgrown, or vice-versa; but if one of the people feels as though the relationship is done with
yet doesn't want to hurt the other's feelings, they would endeavor to avoid that person.

All in all, good stuff! ~ Geez.
.

up! LoL

What an awful feeling to lay there, aching for sleep, yet unable to find it. I'm sure we each have our own set of demons that keep us awake. You've described one of yours beautifully. Well, done.

For me, my mind is racing through assorted scenarios: work problems, the occasional lyric skipping past, health issues, etc. My usual antidote is an hour of Playstation time and a minimum of two beers. However, as I'm sure with most when this occurs, the short night plays havoc with the next day.

Great poem!

Very good, I’ll have to read more of your work!

Hello, Carrie,
I feel the exasperation in this, especially when thinking of, and grieving for, someone who's "still so alive." The tossing and turning in the mind cause tossing and turning in the night.
Better nights ahead, and sweet dreams!
L