kowque
kowque
Nov 15, 2023

I will re-learn

How to smile again.

All this cold rain,
will become beautiful again.

All this,
will drench me in righteousness.
My enemies,
will dance with me.
We will all-
re-find versions of ourselves,
that are, our alternate,yet, purer selves.

I'm doing it
for all of us.

When I bleed,
My blood is red.
Your blood is red.
My grief carries the same colour. AS YOURS.
The same aura.

My anger is also red. AS YOURS.
When I find a common colour for my vindication,
You will find, it also tastes, the same. AS YOURS.

Funny,how pain, always,feels,like pain.

Our victory,
will radiate,
in the same colours.

my,friend.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ZAF

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: I will re-learn

Poem text:
How to smile again.

All this cold rain,
will become beautiful again.

All this,
will drench me in righteousness.

Review:

The brevity of your poem creates a sense of simplicity and directness. The title sets the tone for the poem, suggesting a desire to rediscover happiness. The repetition of the phrase "All this" in the last two lines adds emphasis and creates a sense of unity.

However, the poem could benefit from further development and expansion. The imagery of cold rain becoming beautiful again is intriguing, but it would be helpful to provide more specific details or descriptions to enhance the reader's understanding and engagement. Consider incorporating sensory language or vivid imagery to bring the scene to life.

Additionally, the phrase "will drench me in righteousness" is thought-provoking, but it may require further clarification or elaboration. What does righteousness mean in this context? How does it relate to the theme of relearning how

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

the same question about the meaning of [righteousness] in this respect. I think that you mean a different word like [vindication]
such as, this was not your fault. Maybe not, I don't know what you are feeling, but I think that from the way you have written about things in your life, you have felt like you were always blamed, and now, feel vindicated. ~ Geezer.
.

kowque

I had a whole message written out and it got lost somehow. I value the feedback. I'll have to reconsider the use of the word. Thank you

kowque

I'm considering editing this entire poem. I think it was mostly written in anger and doesn't totally read correctly. However, thank you for the feedback!

Leslie

Perhaps your writing has a meaning that is vailed.
Something that you need to search for it's
meaning. I have no idea, but to me it was great.
I would write something else, but meditate on
what's been written, but that's just me?

kowque

English is my third language,lol,
I'm going to have to find the right word.

I'll keep searching