to taste,
The salt in my own tears.
I don't want to be here.
I dont want to be wearing black.
I dont want to bury you.
I. Just. Want. You. Back.
I will "praise" you out of that grave.
Nov 08, 2023
I don't want
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback on this poem.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
I don't want
I loved this simple, direct, heartfelt write. Great job!
I'm finding there is a
I'm finding there is a simplicity to grief.
Thank you for the feedback.
I don't want
Yes...you've said it well.
Peace,
L
Peace to you as well. Thank
Peace to you as well. Thank you
At first...
I thought that you really didn't need the periods at the end of the piece, but as I read the words again, I saw that they were
full sentences, all by themselves. Simple thoughts, as if one could truly resurrect the deceased by sheer will alone.
I have felt this myself; I've experienced the thought, that if I could/would concentrate hard enough... I could make it happen.
I feel your pain and am sorry for your loss. Nicely done. ~ Geezer.
.
Sometimes I imagine
Sometimes I imagine this isn't real. And I can just see her again. I wish sheer will was that powerful. Thank you for the comment.
koki
after pondering the additional comments, I could see the depth of
emotion and desired to stand with you at that time. This simple poem
invoked a well spring of emotion. I am sorry for your loss.
To be honest
I would not want you standing by my side.
My mom keeps fainting.
I keep crying.
I would not wish these moments upon you,friend.
These are not kind times.
Thank you for the thoughtful words.