I’ve been placed in detention today
For not paying attention in class
Teacher says it’s the price to be paid
But thank God my seats by the glass
‘What do I do, what do I do?’
In this classroom, all alone
I know what to do, admire the view
And with my thoughts, I’ll go with the flow
Not a cloud in the sky, but I do wonder why
When full of water they turn very dark
Because water is clear, even up in the sky
I’m not sure, so move on to the park
I see some of my friends, enjoying the sun
I wish I could be there as well
But I’m stuck in this room, in need of some fun
On what I see from the window, I dwell
In the distance are sheep, just one black in the group
Unlike the rest, but he follows care free
If the rumours are true, why don’t they walk in a loop
And never end up where they’d like to be
No avoiding the sight, from the chair where I look
Is my face on the glass looking back
If my reflection could talk, it would say ‘learn from your books
And contemplate life when at home and on track’
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Having spent some time in...
Having spent some time in detention myself, I can relate.
However, I do believe that you should have added some commas in this piece.
For the most part, this one has a simple charm and flows well.
When you choose "not actively editing," I think that you are not open to suggestions or criticisms.
There may be some other things that could be modified, but I don't see them against the nice easy view.
The addition of a comma in between God and my
"And my thoughts will go with the flow"
Comma between sure and so
Comma between window and dwell
~ Geezer.
.
Thank you for the feedback
Thank you for the feedback
A Thoughtful Reflection
Hello, Michael,
A beautiful poem, introspective. A perfect title. Love the stanza regarding the black sheep. Adds even more reflection to the poem.
Very nice,
L